Inseparable
by Catherine86
Summary: Charming and Snow go to the nursery so that she and Emma can get to safety. Snow finds herself with a newborn in a strange land, trying to cope as best as she can.
1. Chapter 1

**AN/ Hi, I'm new. This is my very first fanfic -ever! English is not my first language.  
I decided to write this story because last night I couldn't sleep and what I tend to do then is to imagine and make up my own scenarios of how things might happen (I call it pre-sleep-dreaming;). Initially I just wanted to make a one shot. But I feel I might be able to continue, I feel very self-conscious and not sure I can pull off a multi-chapter story right off the bat. But here's a start, I took the first step. Now I will anxiously await reviews (please leave one for me) and take it from there. Thanks! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

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_**Chapter 1**  
_

There she was, the physical pain forgotten and replaced by bliss. I hadn't taken my eyes off her since Doc held her up for me to see. My heart was fluttering like a butterfly and I sucked in an unsteady breath of air, watching him cut the cord and wipe her clean with a piece of linen. She didn't really scream, she whimpered and shivered from the chill air, eyes shut and crinkled.

Doc grabbed her blanket and wrapped her up gently. I saw her little face relax as he handed her to me. It didn't take long for Doc to do this, but it felt like forever and I reached out eagerly and pulled her close to me. She felt light as a feather and in that moment we melted into one. I'm a mother.

"Emma" I whisper softly. She opens her eyes and my eyes well up, a silent tear run down my cheek. I feel Charming wiping it away with his finger.

"She's beautiful", he says reverently. I glance up at him and I see his joy and his tears. He leans in for a kiss and it's warm, gentle and words cannot describe the feelings stirring behind it, we are a family.

He breaks the kiss and looks down at Emma, cupping her head in his palm, leans down and kisses her forehead. With my eyes back on Emma I feel a sense of dread creeping up my spine.

"The wardrobe…" I whisper. "We have to get to the wardrobe!" Charming shoots me a look of panic.

"What…" he can't seem to get the words out so I continue, "You have to help me get in the wardrobe with Emma".

Lines crease his forehead, "but it only takes one" he says with confusion, "how…?"

"We have to try, I can't let her go alone!" desperation taking over me, "she's so tiny, maybe if I hold her close it will be like she's still part of me". I felt convinced because it's the truth, me and Emma are one, we belong together and I simply refuse to let her go. It felt physically impossible to part from her.

Emma squirmed in my arms sensing the emotional turmoil and she started to cry. I tore my eyes from Charming's distraught face and I gently shifted Emma in my arms to calm her, but I couldn't stop shaking.

Doc runs into the chamber, "the Queens guards have entered the castle you need to get Emma to safety…hurry!" I throw my legs over the edge of the bed.

"Wait, wait!" Charming puts his hands on my shoulders and I look at him, I can see his grief, his fear and his love, it makes my heart ache and all I want is for us to lie back down and for him to wrap his arms around me and Emma, but there is no time.

"Charming… we have to do this", I say and I see the shift in his eyes, resolve and action takes over.

"Come, I'll help you up." I stand up on unsteady legs, I can feel the soreness and suddenly the pain is no longer forgotten. Charming wraps his arm around me, supporting me while I take a few steps. 'I can do this', I think to myself.

"Hold on a second", Charming says as he grabs his sword and my cloak, wrapping it around my shoulders. "It might be cold on the other side" he says with sadness in his voice, and my eyes well up as I smile at him lovingly.

Holding Emma close with my right arm and grabbing my left around Charming's waist we make our way out of the bedroom chamber and down the hall. I hear a commotion up ahead and watch as three of the Queens men head straight for us.

My knees go out and I sink to the floor, Charming takes a defensive stance in front of me and Emma, he pulls out his sword and as the first guard attacks he takes a swing and the blade strikes the other sword. I crouch over trying to keep Emma safe and for a minute all I hear is the sounds of the struggle and then a loud thud, which makes my head jerk up and I see two of the guards on the floor, one dead, pinning down another who's trying to get the dead weight off him. I glance up at my husband who just then thrusts his sword into the third guards' side making him gasp and slowly fall against the wall. Before the remaining guard manages to wiggle out from beneath the body Charming knocks him out cold. He then turns around and I can see stains of red across his chest and I gasp, reaching out to him he walks up to me and grabs my arm, pulling us up.

"You're hurt!" I say with horror.

"It's just a scratch, I'll be alright. Come on we have to get to the nursery" he says with urgency, obviously his adrenaline was running wild in his veins.

There was no time to worry but I felt all of the colour drain from my face and I felt faint but I staggered along the remaining distance to the nursery. While Charming ran to the wardrobe and pulled open its doors I looked at Emma and was amazed at how calm she seemed, my grip on her never faltered and I wondered if she felt safe in my arms. Breaking my reverie Charming beckons me to him. There's commotion down the hall and we both whip our heads towards the door and then face each other, reading each other's expression and realising that this is it, we kiss.

It's an urgent kiss but all of our love for each other is concentrated into that single second and with tears streaming down our faces I suddenly realise that he hasn't had the chance to hold his daughter yet. So I hand her over, watching his expression turn into one of awe, he traces her cheek with his finger and Emma grabs hold of it. He glances up at me and the love I see in his eyes is indescribable, more tears spill from his eyes as he leans down to give her one last kiss

"I love you Emma. Look after your mother for me, ok", he says as he gives her a broken smile.

I hunch down and place myself into the tiny space, which feels so claustrophobic I feel the panic and the need to get out. Charming kneels down and places Emma back in my arms, and instantly I feel the panic recede, she's my centre. With her in my arms I regain my sense of purpose. I open the blanket so that I can bring her closer to my chest, laying her on her tummy against my chest and I rearrange the blanket over her. This is the only way I can bring her as close to me as possible, thinking it will be just like she was still inside me.

During this Charming never takes his hands off me and when I look at him for the last time, there are no words, we are both too choked up to say anything. He kisses my forehead and wipes the tears off my cheek.

"Charming…" I whimper.

He swallows back a sob and says "I know Snow".

Then we both mouth the words 'I love you'. He looks down and shuts the wardrobe doors and the last thing I see is someone entering the nursery behind him.

* * *

It all goes dark very quickly and I hold Emma as close as I can, feeling her warm little body against mine, I can even feel her little fingers grasping at my skin. I feel weightless and something pulling me, there is a loud crack and then a flash of light as a breeze of cold air hits my face. As my eyes adjust to the piercing light I begin to make out trees and I notice the smell of earth and nature.

Feeling very disoriented I make my way out and put my bare feet on the ground, there's a thick layer of pine needles and my feet sink into the earth.

"We got away", I mutter in disbelief. I peek underneath the blanket to see a sleeping Emma with her ear pressed to my heart, "we're safe honey" I whisper softly.

I look behind me to see where we came through, it was a big tree and it looked like something had blasted a hole right in it. Turning around I tried to get a grip on where we might be but all I see is trees and shrubs and pine needles.

The air is chilly and my memories flash back to Charming draping the cloak over me, I can still hear him say 'it might be cold on the other side', my chest constricts and sobs make my body convulse. I stagger back to the hole in the tree and crawl back into it.

Emma wakes up by the sudden movements and by the pitiful sounds that seem to have taken control over my body. She lets out a muffled cry and her little legs starts to kick. This brings me back to the here and now and I'm glad I have her to bring back my focus and purpose.

"Shh, shh baby. I'm sorry", I say with a trembling voice.

I try to make myself comfortable, luckily there's more room here than there was in the wardrobe and I cross my legs and lean back. My body is aching and the soreness from the birth is throbbing painfully.

Emma stopped crying and was busy turning her head back and forth, her mouth opening and closing; nuzzling my skin. At first I didn't realise what she was doing because it looked so peculiar, but then it hit me. She was hungry and she was searching for something to latch on to.

Suddenly I got anxious. I've never done this before. All kinds of scary scenarios flew across my mind but I had to try, otherwise we'd both be in trouble. So I lowered her down and undid my nightgown, I think she knew what was coming because she looked all excited with her mouth opening and closing and her head swaying around to find her meal, as I watched I laughed a small laugh to myself because it looked so funny, bless hear heart.

I cradled her in my left arm and used my right hand to direct my breast so that she could latch on. She latched on immediately and started sucking for her dear life, and it was like no feeling I had ever felt before, it was so unique and wonderful and my heart melted.

Emma's eyes conveyed pure satisfaction, she blinked slowly and the sound of her breathing heavily from eating so fast was the most endearing sound I'd ever heard.

"Slow down honey, you don't have to eat so fast." As if she understood she slowed down a little, but not much, she must be really hungry, poor thing.

As she was eating I opened the blanket little by little so that I could explore this wonder that was my baby girl. I traced my fingers on her silken skin, caressing her shoulder and down her back, her legs were curled up against my stomach and her little toes were wiggling against my skin.

As I wrap the blanket over her again so that the cold won't get to her I say, "You are perfect. You are a miracle and I love you more than life itself. I am so happy that I could come with you. I don't dare to think about what would have happened if we had had to send you here all alone. My heart would have broken into millions of pieces if you had been taken from me."

I wipe a stray tear from the corner of my eye and I grab her little arm and she wraps her fingers around my thumb. I kiss her tiny fingers and then place both our hands above my heart.

I am starting to feel the exhaustion come over me and I am struggling to keep my eyes open, and I see that Emma has beat me to it. Eyes closed and even though she's let go of my breast her mouth still does the sucking motion. I smile lovingly at her as I cover myself up again and I place her on my chest again and start rubbing her back until I hear a little burp. I can't stay awake much longer so I scoot down in a foetal position with my back towards the opening wanting to shield Emma from the cold breeze as much as possible. Wrapping my cloak over us both, thankful again that I had it with me. There we were in the middle of an unknown forest in a new world… I didn't even have the strength to worry because I slipped into unconsciousness as soon as I laid down my head.

* * *

Something woke me with a start, my eyes flew open and I tensed. I hadn't jostled Emma as I saw that she was still sleeping sweetly against my chest. My brain struggled to register what exactly had woken me up when I hear a sniffing sound and something that sounded like an animal right outside. Oh no, what if it's a wolf! My heart starts to pound and sweat beads on my forehead. I slowly move my head to glance over my shoulder, but what I saw was no wolf, it was this chestnut coloured dog that was standing on its hind legs to peek up at me. It had such a goofy grin that all my worries faded away instantly. I smiled as I sat up, careful not to wake Emma. The dog wagged its tail like it couldn't have been happier to have found me, so I reached out and petted it whereby it started licking my hand, which made me let out a small giggle.

"Maverick! Here boy! *whistling*… where did you run off to?!" The dog quickly turned his head around and let out a bark. Emma was startled by the sudden noise and began to wail.

With my anxiety levels rising again I made my way out of the tree, I felt so stiff and sore that it took me a minute. I tried to look around me to see if anyone was approaching but I didn't see anyone, the dog had run off to who knows where. Emma's cries grew louder and I started to rock her back and forth while speaking softly to her that all was well, she responded by not only quieting down but by looking me straight in the eye and the corner of her mouth drew up in a little crooked smile.

Grinning back at her I said "Hi princess, did the dog scare you. It's okay I'm sure he didn't mean to."

I hear a shuffle behind me and a voice say, "Hello?"

I spin around facing a woman, who looked like she was seeing a ghost, which I don't really blame her for. Here I was in the middle of nowhere, dressed only in my nightgown, having bare feet and I am sure my face looks like a total disaster having been an emotional wreck for the past 24 hours.

She stares at me with big eyes. The dog was running circles around us, proud to be showing his master his findings.

"Are you alright?" she asks.

Searching my brain for words, how do I explain, I don't know this world and what would be appropriate to tell her, but I think it's best to keep it short and simple until I know more.

"I, I… I got lost. I was trying to get away from someone and I don't know where I am", I say hesitantly.

Emma stirs in my arms, I suspect she's hungry but I can't be sure since I don't know how long I was out, I look down and stroke her cheek.

"Is that a baby?! How did you get here with a baby?" she says with even more shock layering her voice.

"Um… I… I just had her, I was running but then my water broke and I…"

The utter shock on the woman's face was verging on comical.

"Y..you mean you gave birth here, alone? In the woods?"

I don't know what else to say so I just nod. The woman takes a deep breath as if to collect herself.

"Uh... well okay, we need to get you two looked after, my cabin is not far from here, do you think you can walk?"

Again I just nod but add an appreciative smile.

She walks up to me and smiles back, "My name is Sophie."

There's this pause and she raises her eyebrow…

"Oh! I apologize. My name is… Mary." Thankful that that name was close at hand, having used it before. I miss Red, my face falls and sadness takes over.

Sophie looks concerned, "Hey, let me help you." She grabs me by the arm and we start walking. It's slow going and I really hope the cabin is close even though Emma seems to be okay for the moment I know it won't last forever and every step I take hurts.

* * *

Darkness falls like the drop of a hat but I can finally see the cabin through the trees, there's a lantern hanging by the door but otherwise it's all dark. This makes me want to ask "Are you out here alone too?"

Sophie seems a little surprised that I broke the silence. We hadn't really spoken since she found me. She clears her throat, "Yeah, it used to be me and my husband but he passed away last year…"

"I'm sorry Sophie." I can tell the wound is still fresh and she struggle a bit to keep it together. Having just been separated from Charming I know precisely what she's feeling. I can only hope he survived the battle I saw looming behind those wardrobe doors. I close my eyes feeling tears burning behind my eyelids and draw a breath to collect myself. I turn my focus back to Sophie.

"It's okay, you didn't know." There's a pause before she continues. "This was our special place where we'd get away from the world and just enjoy each other's company and get close to nature. This is the first time I'm here since he died. Back in the city it all felt so empty and he was just gone. I couldn't take it anymore so I came here to see if he was here. I mean his presence of course, I know it sounds crazy but I can feel that he is looking over me in some way, and this is where I feel closest to him."

We reached the cabin and she helped me up the steps and opened the door. As I entered she apologized, she said she didn't mean to spill her life story like that. I told her it was okay. She lit a lantern on the table and helped me sit down on the sofa.

There was an awkward silence before she says, "You can trust me you know… I can read people pretty well and I can tell you are a good person. I can also see that you are in some sort of trouble and I don't know if I can help you, but I believe we were meant to cross paths today and for what it's worth I will do my best to help you find what you are looking for." Her kind words make my eyes well up and I give her a weak smile while nodding my head.

"I know you're tired and we can talk more later after you've rested and settled in but I just wanted to reassure you that you are safe here. No one will hurt you here." She goes to a cupboard and pulls out some linens and towels and put them next to me on the sofa. I reach out and grab her by the hand.

"Thank you", I whisper. She only smiles and squeeze my hand.

A few minutes later she says, "I'm going to get some fire wood so that I can start a fire, you make yourself comfortable okay?" I nod my head and smile at her.

"Maverick will keep you company. Won't you boy?" she pats him on his back and he wags his tail.

The door closes and he comes over to me and lies down by my feet. I sigh and lean back, sinking back onto soft pillows. I can't express how good it feels, it soothes all my aching muscles. Emma has been awake for a while, she had cried out a little on the walk here but it was like she knew she had to bide her time. However, her patience was now up and she started to fuss. I switched arms so that she could take the other side. I could feel my breast ache and that was another sign that it was time for a feeding.

"Alright sweetie, dinner is coming."

I grab a pillow and stuff it under my arm so that it supports her. I open up the blanket so that it won't get in the way and pull her closer. It was just like the first time, same feeling of wonder. This time she took her time and didn't rush.

"Good girl Emma, you're so bright." With her hand once again in mine above my heart I gaze at her as my eyelids fall.

"We will be okay, we'll be okay… I trust Sophie. You and I shall never part", I manage to whisper before I drift off.

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**A shout out to Msynergy whose daily minifics and charming feels on my dash gave me the motivation to write down my own ideas. Thank you!**

**I'll try to update as soon as possible. ****Thanks for the reviews, favs and follows. They make me very happy and boost my self confidence **** xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**** Wow! First of all, thanks for all the reviews, favs and follows. I did not expect that many! :O You are all awesome people! :)**

**Andi88:**** Regarding Pinocchio. Haha, I'm so busted because I didn't think about that, being mainly focused on Snow and Emma. I'd like to go with the idea that he was sent through too, because I feel that that is what Gepetto would have done no matter what. I think he was sent somewhere else through the wardrobe and not the same tree as Snow and Emma. I'll try to work on some ideas for him…  
If anyone wants to bring their ideas to the table, feel free to share****!**

**(I wrote a short companion one-shot to the first chapter to this story, from Charming's POV called 'Into the fray'. So if you want to you can go check that one out.)**

**Disclaimer:**** I own nothing! Apart from Sophie :p she's mine.**

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Chapter 2

'_I cram myself into the wardrobe and Charming hands me Emma. My chest is tight and I can't breathe… my mouth shapes the words 'I love you' and the door closes._

_Nothing happens._

_I panic. I hear a commotion beyond the wooden doors. I have to get out. I start banging on the doors but they are locked. Emma screams and her screams pierce my ears, I can barely hear the fighting on the other side. I start to hyperventilate and dread seeps out of every pore on my body._

"_CHARMING!" I scream. And I get no answer._

_There's an ominous silence then. I freeze as I hear shuffling movements coming closer. It stops right in front of the wardrobe. I wrap my arms protectively around Emma who is still uttering heart wrenching screams._

_The lock is opened. A crack of light opens up, growing larger and larger. As the face comes into view and the evil smirk of the Queen glares down at me I feel the world shatter. It's over. It's all over. I had failed._

_I see Charming on the floor, his blue eyes staring cold. Dead, lying in a pool of his own blood._

_A broken cry is muffled as my hand flies up to cover my mouth. Tears blur my vision and spill over, running down my face._

_The ground shakes and dark purple smoke burst through the windows as the Queen's black gloved hands reach out to take Emma away from me and she triumphantly says, "I guess good lost after all."_

_Her cold laugher rings in my ears as she rips Emma from my chest, her screams ripping my heart to shreds._

"_Noooo!"'_

* * *

My body is shaking, someone is shaking it and my eyes fly open and I strike out my hand.

"Ow!"

"Hey!... hey, it's okay. You're okay," says a strange voice. But it's unexpectedly kind and soft and it disorients me even more.

For a moment nothing makes sense and I can't focus on anything. Where am I? Why are my arms empty?! My arms flail around in panicked movements to find…

"EMMA!?, EMMA,… EMMA!," I'm in full blown hysterics.

"Listen! Listen to me," I feel a hand on my shoulder and finally my eyes reach the source of the voice. I look into soft brown eyes and the face of a young woman, locks of auburn hair framing her face.

My mind is scrambling to remember, my breathing is heavy and I swallow to get rid of the taste of fear.

"S..S…Sophie?"

The woman gives me a reassuring smile. "Yeah, that must have been one hell of a nightmare. You were thrashing around like crazy. I was amazed you didn't upset your baby, you seemed to have a pretty secure hold on her but I thought it would be safest to pick her up before I woke you so that she wouldn't get caught in the middle, and I guess I was right," she says as she rubs her cheek tenderly.

My eyes dart to the bundle in her arms and I instantly reach out to take Emma back. The vision of the Queen ripping her from me was fresh in my mind and I just needed her close to me again. So I envelope her in my arms, kiss her head and hold her close to my heart.

After a minute of simply just staring at her to make sure she was really… real, and safe, I look up at Sophie and I see the redness on her cheek. My face heats up, embarrassed I realise what I must have done.

"Oh, I am so sorry I hit you. I didn't mean…"

"It's fine Mary. I know you didn't mean to, I mean I could tell you were out of it and lashing out to some dream attacker. I just happened to get in the way," she chuckles quietly.

On a more serious note she asks, "Do you want to talk about it? If it's got to do with the people who are after you…"

"No, I'm alright now." I interrupt. Not wanting to dwell on it any second longer. But I still see concern shadowing her face.

"They won't find me here. Trust me." I say confidently.

Sophie reads my face to make sure I was telling the truth and after a little while I see her relax and I let out a small sigh of relief, knowing she won't push the matter any further. I turn my head and smile down at Emma's peaceful face. I know I'll have to tell Sophie more about what happened but now is not the time.

It's still dark out. I can't have been sleeping for long, but the fire is burning nicely and I can smell something sweet.

Sophie had moved to the tiny kitchen, her back towards me so I can't see what she's doing. I hear spoons clinking and she turns around with too large cups in her hands. Steam rising.

"I hope you like hot chocolate." She sits down beside me on the couch and drags this little table in front of us and sets down the cups.

"I don't have anything fancy like whipped cream or marshmallows to add to it but I do pride myself as being an excellent hot coco maker." She smiles and brings her cup up to her mouth and blows a few times before she sips it.

"Mmmmm…! Go ahead, try it."

Right then and there I knew we would be great friends. She gives off this genuine warmth and sense of comfort that sets my mind and heart at ease, and the first thing she offers me to drink it hot chocolate!? This is so meant to be.

I reach for my cup and I bring it up to my nose and fill my lungs with the sweet aroma before I take a tentative sip, not wanting to burn my tongue. I can't remember the last time I had anything to eat or even drink so the feeling of the warm liquid going down and warming me from within is heavenly.

"Nice, huh." I hear her say.

"It's wonderful, thank you."

"Oh, wait! I almost forgot, I have some sponge cake too. I made some this morning. It's one of the few things I actually know how to make." She sprints off the sofa and over to the bread box on the counter. I chug the rest of the hot chocolate, it really wasn't as hot as I first thought, sure it was borderline burning but I couldn't care less and I couldn't help myself. She cuts two rather large pieces on a plate. She then returns offering me to take one. My stomach conveniently growls and I laugh a little self-consciously at the sound.

I meant to take it slow and show proper etiquette, being the queen that I am, but I end up shoving it into my mouth as fast as humanly possible. Leaving crumbs all over my face and spilling them all over Emma's blanket. Sophie tries not to laugh but fails as a giggle erupts from her, I soon follow suit but since I still have a mouthful of cake I have to press my hand over my mouth to keep it from ending up all over the table.

Emma, having been awake a while starts to fuss, scrunching up her face at the injustice of missing out on a meal.

"Oh, look who's hungry too." Sophie says between giggles.

I was about to say something when I felt something warm seeping through the blanket.

"Uuh… I think she's had a little accident here. I really should've thought of that earlier but I drifted off."

"No worries, I have some sanitary wipes. It's a little late for a bath, but the wipes should do fine for now. I'll have a look to see if I can find some safety pins too. We already have the linen cloths here. You can feed her while I go look so you can have a little privacy," she says with a smile and I can't help feeling overwhelmingly grateful for her finding me, if she hadn't I'd still be out there in the cold.

My eyes follow Sophie as she walks across the room and I'm lost in thought, what are sanitary wipes I wonder. Emma decides she has had enough and gives out a loud whimper. She jabs angry fists in the air, wrinkling her nose as her face goes all red.

"Little miss has a temper huh. I don't blame you honey, being hungry is no fun and to add being wet and cold is just nasty." I grab one of the towels and lay it out next to me on the sofa. Then I remove the blanket and lift Emma 'god she's tiny!' onto the towel and wrap her up in it. It's nowhere near as soft as her blanket but it will have to do for now.

I bring her to my breast again and she does what she does best at this point and inhales gulp after gulp of milk. It's funny how this feels like the most natural thing ever, like we've been doing this forever. We are already a team. She shifts her eyes and looks up at me from the corner of her eye and I smile.

"But that's not news is it baby, we were a team from the get go weren't we?" I speak to her tenderly and her fingers give my thumb a squeeze as if to confirm that very statement.

I hear light tapping on the floor and see Maverick sauntering towards me, he sits down and lays his head on the sofa cushion by my thigh. With my free hand I scratch his head and his tail sweeps back and forth on the floor boards.

"I guess it's you I should thank. You're the one who found me first." Lifting his head a little he licks my hand.

"He usually never likes strangers. I'm quite surprised he lets you even pet him. That's one of the reasons I knew I could trust you by the way." Sophie makes her way over and puts down a package of something that I presume are the wipes and a needle cushion.

She looks down at Emma who's just about done eating. Sophie stares for a little while and I begin to feel a little exposed.

"I'm sorry for staring," she says with a distant tone, as if she's far away.

"Ben always talked about having kids…"

Tears are glistening in her eyes. But she smiles down at Emma before she looks back at me.

"She's so beautiful..."

"You called out Emma before, that's her name right?"

"Yeah, it is." I smile sadly at her. Picking up on the change of tone in her words, I sense that she doesn't want to talk about what she just confessed.

"I think she's finished," she says, having shaken off her sad memories for the moment.

"Now let's get her cleaned up. She hands me a piece of paper from the package and as I reach out to take it I let out a little gasp of surprise. I didn't expect it to be wet. I look up at Sophie a little confused. And by the look on her face she seems a little surprised as well by my reaction.

"Have you never used a wet wipe before?" she says incredulously.

"Um… no, I just didn't expect it to be wet."

Sophie laughs, "Well they're amazing, you can use them to clean pretty much anything."

I start to wipe Emma, careful not to get in her eyes or mouth. I hadn't realised how dirty she'd gotten. There were still a bit of white stuff from the birth under her arms and in the creases on her thighs, then there was some dried blood on her belly and not to mention tiny pieces of dirt that I suspect came from when we blasted through that tree.

I finished cleaning her front but when I tried to get to her back it got difficult. Sophie steps in and says.

"If you pick her up and hold her I can get her back." She takes a fresh wipe and I lift Emma out of the towel. I can feel her shivering a little from being fully exposed so I lay her on my chest and she curls right up.

"Aw, look at that. I'll be quick I promise." Sophie quickly wipes Emma's head, neck and back, and the wet combined with the air makes Emma cry. Sophie gently straightens Emma's little legs so she can reach every nook and cranny, but Emma is so not having it and wails even louder. I try to place my hands so that they cover her as much as possible as I shush her and tell her comforting things in her ear.

"I'm done! Finished," she says with a chirp and takes the towel and places it over us both in one swift move. "All better."

"Now we have to wrap that little bottom up so that there won't be any more little messes."

This is where we both just stare at each other, thinking the other would know how to do this.

Sophie shrugs her shoulders. "Alright, well, it can't be that hard. Between the two of us we ought to be able to figure this out."

I give a quick sharp and determined nod, with a smile that says 'we can do this!'

I sit up taking one hand off Emma and remove it from underneath the towel to place it back behind her neck so I can support her as I lay her down on the sofa. She had managed to fall asleep on my shoulder so I put her down gently. Her fist was in her mouth and she was sucking at it. 'Yeah, this settles it. She's the cutest baby in existence. Yep. No doubt about it.' I was only thinking it but Sophie says it out loud.

"That is the most adorable thing I have ever seen!" she gushes, as she kneels down on the floor, cloth in hand.

"Alright, so if we fold this lengthwise and… wait, no… hmm…" she turns the fabric over in her hands as if it would help her thought process.

I chime in with, "What if we fold it more like a triangle, having the wider part behind so that they fold over the sides to the front and then the third flap we fold in between her legs."

"That's brilliant. Let's try it out." She laughs.

She folds while I open up the towel. Emma frowns a little, and I see three little wrinkles on her forehead. I feel a stab at my heart as Charming's worried face flash before my eyes; having those exact wrinkles on his forehead. Tears start to burn in my eyes and my throat feels like it's on fire, trying not to cry.

Sophie's voice breaks my reverie and I manage to repress my grief, helping me bring back my focus.

"Lift her up will you, so I can scoot this underneath her." She says not having noticed any change in me.

I lift up Emma's legs and bottom just enough so that Sophie can put the folded cloth under her. I then slowly lower her back down. I begin folding in the middle and wrap the fabric on the sides over the one in the middle. Sophie hands me a funny looking needle and I stop and look at it, trying to figure out how to use it.

"Really, you haven't used a safety pin either?" she says slightly baffled.

I just sigh and give her a 'will you just help me' look.

"Ok, I'll show you." She says and bends over grabbing the fabric between her fingers, and carefully guides the needle so that it won't poke Emma's stomach. Down and up, then she presses the sides together so that it hooks into itself. 'What a clever little thing' I think, mildly amazed by the simplicity of it.

"It looks pretty good. I think you might be a natural at this," she says.

I blush a little, taking pride that motherhood seems to come so easily to me.

"Now that she's fed and changed I think we need to get some rest. I know I am tired so I can only imagine how tired you must be. Having been running around in the woods and giving birth, and god knows what. I'm amazed you haven't keeled over by now."

"Well I did sleep for a little while…"

"Hey, I wouldn't call that sleep. It certainly wasn't restful." She states.

"I want you to take the bedroom, which is more of a tiny nook behind that curtain there. " She points to the back where I see a beautifully printed blanket hanging from a string in the ceiling.

"No. I don't want to put you out. I'm fine right here."

"From what I saw earlier when I had to wake you up from that dream of yours, I think it's better if you and Emma have more space. This here is too narrow for the both of you and I don't want you to have any accidents, like falling on the floor in your sleep." She obviously had her mind set up about this so I humbly accept the offer.

"Is there somewhere I can freshen up a bit," suddenly feeling the urgent need to use the bathroom, that chocolate must've run right through me.

"Yes of course. If you go through there you have it directly on your right. Let me know if you want any help."

"I should be fine thank you. Would you mind watching Emma for me?"

Sophie stiffens and looks a little scared. "Are you sure it's alright, what if she starts to cry?"

"I'm pretty sure she won't, but if she does just rock her, she likes that. It's not like I'm going far. I'll be right around the corner." I say reassuringly. And even though I'm not particularly fond of letting Emma out of my arms, and even though a tingle of residual fear makes me hesitate for a second I place Emma in her arms. She stirs a little in her sleep and Sophie looks absolutely terrified, making me laugh.

"I'll be right back. You are doing great."

I slowly stand up, testing my strength. I feel stiff and sore but my legs seem to be steady enough for me to walk. I take a few steps and yeah I can most certainly do this.

I return to the front room a short while after having cleaned up, somewhat baffled by some of the stuff I saw in there… I can't even begin to explain, my mind being foggy and all... ugh... But the toilet looked similar enough to what I'm used to so that was a relief... there was water in a jug by a bowl to wash myself with and I felt much better by having splashed water in my face.

I look at Sophie sitting with Emma in her arms, looking way more relaxed than she did just a moment ago. She was smiling down gazing at my daughter with so much wonder that it made my heart jump a little. She was exploring her little hand as if it was the most extraordinary thing in this world, which it is, but I didn't expect to see it in someone else's eyes.

I think back at how she said that her husband wanted kids and I felt sorry for her, I remember being cursed by King George and how devastated I was… I guess this is almost the same, Sophie having lost her true love and her chance to have children with him. But there's no magic water to mend this heartbreak. I let out a sorrowful sigh, which makes Sophie turn her head and look up at me.

I quickly put on a smile. "See, I told you it was nothing to worry about."

Her face lights up at me, "Yeah she's a little princess isn't she. Being all polite and behaving like a little lady. She's obviously very much asleep, but still."

She stands up and carries Emma to the curtain, pulling it aside and signals me to follow her.

It's simple but warm and homey, reminds me of the room I had living with the dwarves, which makes me tear up a bit but I focus on the good times I had living with them trying not to get too emotional, I can't handle any more of that today.

Sophie walks over to the bed and pull away the sheets, "Here, go ahead and crawl in."

I instantly take up on her offer and slide under the sheets and blankets, and I scoot over so that she can place Emma beside me. She seems to hesitate a little and I give her a questioning look.

"Are you sure? I mean what if you have another nightmare and she gets in the way of your thrashing?" she says. I can tell she doesn't want to offend me.

"Didn't you say I held her pretty safely in my arms back then? I know it worries you but there's no doubt in my heart, I would never ever hurt her, not even subconsciously." I couldn't feel more certain about it, Emma belongs with me and I won't let her go. I need this and I know she needs it too.

"Believe me Sophie. I know it looked scary. But you should know I wouldn't say this unless I was sure, I mean I would never subject Emma to anything if I believed she'd get hurt by it. I'm her mother, trust me."

This seems to convince her and she bends down and lay Emma next to me, and I place a hand on Emma's tummy and pull her even closer so I can bend down to kiss her head and draw in a whiff of her sweet honey baby smell that is so intoxicating.

"Hi, sweetie." I whisper with my lips brushing her skin.

Sophie brings a chair and pillows and prop them up beside the bed by Emma.

"I know she can't roll around yet but it makes me more at ease. " She says with a shy smile.

"Thank you. And it's okay to worry. I would be more offended if you weren't worried. I'm really grateful for all you've done. I don't know what I would have done without you. So thank you, with all of my heart I thank you Sophie."

She wipes a tear away from her eye to prevent it from running down her cheek, she clears her throat embarrassingly.

"I must really be tired to well up like this, I'm sorry. I'll let you sleep now. Goodnight Mary." She turns to leave.

I tell her goodnight in return and as she closes the curtain she gives me a smile.

I feel calm and comfortable, and I know sleep will engulf me within minutes, but I don't like the prospect of possibly another nightmare so I fight the urge to close my eyes and watch Emma instead. I know that if anything will keep the nightmares away it will be her so I take her hand in mine and watch her chest rise and fall, rise and fall… rise…and… fall… rise…n…

* * *

**Oh, I really hope you like this chapter. It was much harder to write since I didn't have everything thought out beforehand like I had with the first one. **

**I have no clue as to how things in FTL works, whether it be bathroom or kitchen so from Snow's point of view I am struggling with how she reacts to certain things, I mean they didn't have running water did they? It's like medieval times and I know nothing about it. I'm winging it folks xD**

**Please review, they will feed my motivation to keep going.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: All your lovely reviews make my heart bubble with joy! *blowing you virtual kisses***

**Rapunzel Sunny: Those are nice ideas but that sounds very specific, almost like a completely different story all together from what I have envisioned. Thank you for sharing though, your Snowing reunion idea is similar to what I have in mind, but that is not something I'll have happen yet for a while ;)**

**I'm such a nit-pick when it comes to details, and the perfectionist in me wants to make sure over and over again that it's good enough, (which is why it's taking me a while to write). And I want to make these Snow Emma moments as real as possible. I want to take my time to witness Snow with her new born child… which we never got to see. So I apologize if the story seems to be at a standstill atm, but I promise a time jump is coming up…**

**Enjoy the chapter folks, it's riddled with mother daughter quality time, sweet as can be.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! **

Chapter 3

Emma had woken me twice during the night to eat. Maybe there wasn't room for any nightmares because apart from slipping out of unconsciousness to tend to my baby I was completely out of it. Therefore when I awoke in the morning, and with sunshine streaming through the small window by the end of the bed, I felt completely rested.

I wiped the sleep out of my eyes, turning my head to see Emma wide awake just looking around with those big blue eyes of hers. They were quite a dark colour still but I am sure they will become a lighter shade, just like her fathers.

"You're going to grow up looking like your father aren't you honey," I say with a broken voice as my eyes water. I stroke her cheek and she turns her face towards me. Our eyes meet.

"You are very lucky my love. He's the most handsome man in all the lands." A single tear reaches the pillow. "And even though it hurts to see him in you now, I assure you the joy and pride I feel exceeds any sorrow. I have faith in you, in our family…we'll be reunited one day, the two of us we'll find a way won't we." My voice catches and I have to take a deep breath. Emma's eyes stay focused on me.

"I'm happy to have a part of your father with me in you, he taught me how love is strength and having you with me makes me feel stronger than ever. Whatever life throws at me, with you by my side I'll defeat any battle." She gives me a quizzical look like she's wondering what the heck I'm babbling on about, it makes me laugh.

"And you certainly know when to make me laugh, and lighten up a serious moment" I say as I sit up in the bed.

I then lift her up, having her rest up against my raised knees, and I lean back against the pillows, with my head against the wall. I take her hands in mine and have her grab my thumbs as I do so.

We just sit and watch each other. This actually being the first comfortable peaceful moment I've had alone with her in… well ever, makes me want to savour and relish it for as long as possible. I find that her nappy is soaked and am about to get out of bed when I notice the wipes and a couple of fresh cloths on the chair next to the bed. Sophie being her thoughtful self must've placed them there after I'd fallen asleep in case I needed it during the night.

I unfasten the safety pin and repeat the procedure from last night and it went without a hitch even with Emma being awake this time. "Now, with that done, how about some breakfast?" On cue she pulls my hand to her mouth and brings my finger in her mouth and starts making hungry noises making me break out in a big smile, giggling. "I thought as much. Come here then." I say placing my hands under her arms with my fingers supporting her neck and lifting her up in the air, legs kicking.

The towel was damp as well so kick it off the bed and sit up a few more inches and cross my legs before lowering her into the crook of my right arm, positioning her comfortably. "We're going to have to find you some clothes soon. I don't want you getting sick." Pressed against me with her whole body she feels very warm, but her little toes are a little cold so I folded them into my hand amazed that they both fit in there.

I hear movement in the other room and I guess Sophie is up. I become slightly nervous, because this is all still so very unfamiliar. It's not that I'm scared, just apprehensive of the unknown and my senses are on edge just in case. No matter how comfortable Sophie makes me or even though she said she'd help me find my way, I can't help it. I'm a fish out of water. And right now my heart and mind is flopping around in my chest trying to breathe this strange new air. I need to get used to this world as soon as possible. So as I watch Emma nurse I make up my mind to ask Sophie to tell me about this realm. If I'm going to raise Emma here then I better start learning.

Emma yawns, a very big yawn, losing her grip on my breast, her face all wrinkled up for a second, then her eyes roll around a bit as her eyelids flutter, opening and closing until they finally drop and she falls asleep. I shift her to my shoulder and pat her back, with the burp I also stiffen at the sensation of spit up landing on my shoulder.

Sophie peeks in her head. "You're up. Good. I've been preparing a bath. I only have this big olden timey looking wooden barrel for a bathtub, which is way too big for Emma but maybe you can share." She says with a wink.

"I'll be making some breakfast in the meantime. Does bacon and eggs sound good?"

"Uh, yeah, of course." I usually don't eat such a heavy breakfast, but I'm starving and my mouth water just thinking about it.

"Great! If you make your way out here in a minute I'll show you the bath." She says cheerily as she disappears behind the curtain.

I walk out of the bedroom and there's a fresh fire crackling in the fireplace and the warmth it radiates feels nice against my bare feet.

Sophie comes around from the back. "It's ready." She says and turns back the way she came from. I follow close behind her.

"Okay so I have towels, soap and shampoo for you right here. And I'm going to lay out some clothes you can borrow on the bed."

"Thank you, that's very kind. Um, I'm going to need both hands to wash my hair, is there anything I can place Emma in while I do that?"

Her brow furrows slightly as she thinks.

"Oh, we could borrow Mavericks basket, I'll be right back." She says and walks out the room only to appear a second later with Maverick tailing her. Curious as to why his bed was taken from him.

Sophie pushes him out the door and closes it. "Here. I'll get her settled for you." She grabs a couple of towels, spreading one out on top of the basket and lays the other around Emma as she gently wraps it around her. She then tucks her in on the floor.

"I'll leave you to it. Don't take too long, the water is getting cold." She reminds me before she smiles and goes out the door.

I unfasten my now rather soiled nightgown and let it drop to the floor and I remove some left over hairpins that are still holding my messed up hairstyle together. Combing though it with my fingers I step into the tub and sit down letting the warm water soothe my sore knotted muscles. I enjoy the sensation a few minutes before I reach for the soap to wash myself clean of any evidence of what I've been through, the hours of labour, the shedded tears…

I shake my head to clear my thoughts and dip my head under water to wet my hair. I then reach for the bottle of 'shampoo', not at all familiar with the word or the container but quite sure it was for washing your hair, judging by the picture on the label. It smelled wonderfully of spring flowers.

I look over at Emma to find her awake. I rinse myself off one last time before I step out of the tub to fetch her, then we go back in. The water now being a perfect temperature for her she doesn't really react when I slowly lower her in. I make sure I have a good grip on her before I reach for the sponge to clean her with.

"Isn't this nice Emma, your first bath," I say joyfully as I run the sponge over her head making a tiny whiff of fair hair stand up. Her jerky arm movements splashing the water around, making it ripple. It's such a tender and quiet moment of bliss to cleanse ourselves like this, sharing a moment of being born into this new world, the both of us.

I shroud us in a big towel and head back to the bedroom. Laying Emma down on the bed I put on the clothes that had been laid out for me. They weren't a perfect fit, mainly because I still have this post-pregnancy-belly thing going on. Luckily the fabric was stretchy, which I wondered about. Well it wasn't any fashion I'd ever seen before but it felt wonderful to have a fresh set of clothes on.

Emma was sleeping again so I moved her up further on the bed and tucked the blanket over her, "I'll be right outside" I whisper, giving her a kiss on her temple before I left for the kitchen.

Nearly finished with breakfast Sophie speaks up and says, "I'm going to go into the city, to get some supplies. Baby clothes and diapers maybe even a car seat for Emma. I'll be gone for most part of the day. Do you think you can manage?"

"Yes. I think so." I say a bit stumped but thinking it's only reasonable that she'd offer to do that.

She clears the table and proceeds to explain things to me that I can't really follow so I interrupt her. "I'm sorry. Would you mind showing me instead, I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the things you're talking about." She gives me one of those 'what-are-you-and-where-do-you-come-from' looks but it can't be helped. She doesn't question me about it but starts over and go through how the stove works and to remember to turn off the gas. Then she shows me around the kitchen and this contraption in which she keeps her food cold, I asked how it was possible but I can't say the answer made any sense… 'What's a generator?'

Being satisfied and made certain numerous times that I would be fine on my own she then throws her coat on and heads out the door along with Maverick.

I go check on Emma but she's still sleeping so I busy myself exploring the various items in the cabin. Most things are ornamental and don't really give me any information or clues as to better understand this world, but then I find a stack of papers, which on a closer look are like thin books. I pick one up and the cover was framed in yellow and there was this perfectly rendered picture of an animal I'd never seen… it had thick black and grey fur, it was eating a plant and looked right at me with very intelligent eyes. Needless to say I was totally mesmerized by these little books and they kept me captivated for I don't know how long.

Emma woke up at some point and I brought her with me to the couch where we sat curled up. I read to her aloud about jungles, savannahs, deserts and forms of transportation which made me wonder if this world was indeed without magic.

The hours went by quickly. I made myself lunch toasting bread and cheese and cut some vegetables on the side, afterwards I gave Emma _her_ lunch in bed before the both of us took a nap. I was on my back and she was belly down on my chest, her head tucked under my chin, blanket draped over… holding her close.

I suppose it was late afternoon when I woke to the sound of a door closing.

"Hello?" I hear.

"In here." I try to say loud enough for her to hear me but not enough to wake up Emma, which I see was unnecessary since she was already awake.

Sophie comes in and sits on the bed. Smiling at the sight of us cocooned up against the wall.

She lifts up a bag and reaches into it, pulling out tiny clothes. I can't see that well so I manoeuvre myself closer, sitting up and brushing stray strands of hair out of my eyes.

"If I could've I would've gotten everything they had at the store. Everything is just so adorable," she says and holds up an off white long sleeved one piece that is tied with strings on the side and buttons between the legs. There's this beautifully embroidered swan on the front, wings spread out and it was perfect.

Sophie also brought out a little white and yellow striped hat, three pairs of pants, socks in different colours and elegantly knitted and crocheted sweaters. They all were very simple but very well made and practical… perhaps not what I would have dressed her in, living in the castle but I couldn't help loving these nonetheless.

"I want to try them out," I say excitedly putting Emma down in front of me. "I just have to change her first". Sophie runs to the other room bringing back a new kind of nappy, and I just resign myself to take every new little thing that is thrown at me with an open mind and just go with it. With the first try I get it on backwards, making us both laugh.

I grab the swan one piece, open up the strings and lay it flat before I place Emma in it, then I catch her flailing little arms in the sleeves and thread them through. Giggling as I wrestle with her itty bitty limbs. I then fold the fabric from the side over her tummy I tie the strings into little bows and fasten the buttons under her bottom. Sophie hands me a pair of yellow pants and then a pair of white socks. She looked absolutely adorable in her very first outfit and I lift her up in front of me and give her a huge grin, she looks at me for a second before her eyes roll back and to the side. Lovingly I chastise her, "Young lady. Don't you roll your eyes at me, I am your mother and I have every right to gush over how pretty you are in your new clothes." Emma briefly glances back at me as if to say 'okay-fine', I laugh and kiss both her cheeks.

"It looks like you've recovered well enough while I was gone."

"Yes, I feel very well rested," I say not taking my eyes off Emma.

"So, I was thinking… it's about time I move back to the city. Winter is getting closer and this cabin isn't really an ideal place to be living in, especially since it's so far from civilization, food and help, in case anything should happen. This is a pretty isolated place after all…" She pauses to take a breath.

"Anyway, my apartment isn't the biggest but you're welcome to stay with me there as well until you're back on your feet."

"Are you sure," I ask.

"Yeah, I promised I would help you didn't I and besides it would help me get rid of that lonely empty feeling I have of Ben not being there," she says looking down at her hands in her lap, her voice drifting off.

"I'd love to stay with you." I state simply, watching a small smile spread on her lips.

"Thank you Mary," she reaches out and lays her hand on mine. "With that settled I'll make us some dinner, how about Spaghetti alla Carbonara?"

'What…?'

* * *

With full stomachs we slouch down in the arm chairs by the fire with a cup of tea, and with Emma in the crook of my arm.

"Thank you for that meal. I assure you I haven't had anything like it before," I say truthfully. In all my life as a princess and a queen I'd never come across food like that, and it was delicious.

Sophie turn to me and I can see something's on her mind."Okay, could you maybe tell me a little about where it is you come from because I am genuinely curious and quite frankly a little concerned. You seem like you haven't been living in the real world at all. Have you been locked up all your life or something?" she says looking over at me with empathic eyes.

I stay quiet, searching for a way to best explain this I find that there isn't one but I'm willing to try to make her mind more at ease.

"I can't tell you much because I'm afraid you won't believe me if I do, and because I think it won't make sense to you. But no, I guess I'm not from here… Just imagine that I am from another world. Imagine me being just as much of a new born as Emma when it comes to certain things. I've lived separate from the world you know but something happened that was a threat to us, which led me to leave that place and come here. All I really need is a friend and someone that is willing to show me the ways of this world, and I believe I have found that in you." I feel drained having said all that, and it all came out in a rush and I am sure it sounded like pure nonsense to her. This was harder than I thought it would be. It is like explaining colours to a blind person.

"You're not giving me much to work with but I accept the fact that you can't tell me everything, I guess in time you'll be more comfortable opening up to me about your past. It's really not an issue just as long I can be sure no one is going to show up in the middle of the night abducting you or something, you are being honest about that right?" She says looking me straight in the eye.

"Yes. I got away in time. No one will find me." I say with a steady voice.

"I'm sorry if I turned it into a serious topic but you have to understand my position, finding you like that and you telling me you were running away from someone who wanted to hurt you… I know you said to trust you, and I do but I have to make sure."

I can see worry veiling her features and I feel guilty for inflicting it on her.

"No. I understand and I'm sorry I can't explain things better. What if we just forget about the past, start over and not worry unless we really have to." I say, not wanting to open fresh wounds. I've spent every day since the wedding worrying and I am sick of it, sure everything isn't alright, this isn't my happy ending but I am going to have to wait years for the curse to be broken and all I can do is make sure Emma has a good life, she comes first. Always.

"No more worries… I like that." Sophie says relaxing into her chair turning her head to watch the burning embers.

I just nod and fix my eyes on Emma thinking, 'nothing to worry about at all baby girl, mama's here all the way', as I caress her tummy, moving my hand up and down. Her eyes grow heavy and I start to softly sing to her. The same lullaby my father used to sing to me after my mother died to try to comfort my sadness.

_'Baby sleep, gently sleep,_

_Life is long and love is deep._

_Time will be sweet for thee, all the world to see._

_Time to look about and know,_

_How the shadows come and go._

_How the breeze stirs the trees, how the blossoms grow...'_

And as the last lights of the fire flicker across her face she falls asleep with her hand in mine. I press my cheek to hers, close my eyes and hum the rest of the lullaby while I gently sway side to side along with the tunes.

* * *

**I had a few struggles writing this, esp with explaining things through Snow to Sophie, rewrote it a bunch of times, I hope it reads alright.**

**I have my last two exams coming up this week and then I'm off home for Christmas. I'll try to write as much as I can during the holidays but like most of you know it's going to be a pretty busy time. I won't take too long I promise. I'm thinking of picking up the pace in the next chapter with a little bit of drama;)**

**The lullaby is from the movie 'The Village' (which I think is a wonderful movie no matter what anyone says) if you want to hear a version of it you can find it by searching youtube for 'Ivy's Song - Sang by Naomi Lynn'. It's the only one I found, and it hasn't got the exact lyrics but it doesn't matter. Once you know the melody you can try to imagine Ginny's voice singing it instead :)**

**Thanks again for reading, please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks again for reviewing, you are awesome! :D**

**Rapunzel Sunny: That is great, you should do that – I'd love to see what you come up with **

**This chapter is a bit more dramatic and I sure hope you like it. It's taken me a while longer to finish because I'm at home with the family and Christmas is crazy busy – actually finishing this chapter now in bed at 7am because I woke up and couldn't sleep.**

**Discalimer: I own nothing! **

_**HAPPY HOLIDAYS MY LOVELIES!**_

* * *

Chapter 4

In the days that followed Sophie readied the cabin for the winter, making sure everything was in order and tidying up the place in general. I helped out as much as I could wanting to be helpful in return to the woman who basically saved our lives and took us under her wing.

It was nice. It took my mind off things to be kept busy.

This being our last afternoon we were taking a walk around a small lake that was not far from the cabin. I had Emma all wrapped up in her blanket and then another one on top of that, because the air was really nippy, we'd even had frost on our windows that morning.

Maverick was running ahead enjoying his last free sprint for the season in these woods. He caught sight of a squirrel darting up a tree and chased after it as it jumped from branch to branch.

"I'm really going to miss this," Sophie says breaking the silence.

"Could you tell me a little about where we are going, I've never been to a city before?" I ask cautiously, apprehensive whether she'll ask me why that is. But she just looks at me sideways before answering.

"It's big. There are a lot of high buildings, there are many roads and the traffic can get really bad at times. There isn't a lot of nature around at all unless you count the small parks that are scattered around. The atmosphere is very energetic I suppose, that happens when there's so many people on the move all the time. I find it quite stressful actually, but my work is there so I don't really have an option."

"What do you do for work?" I then ask, surprised I hadn't thought of asking that earlier.

"I teach 4th grade at a nearby elementary school, but I've been taking a leave of absence this past year to get back on my feet, I didn't really want to rub off any sad vibes on the kids," she says a little dejectedly.

"I bet the children miss you. I can imagine you being a wonderful teacher." I say trying to lift her spirits.

Her face brightens up a bit and she smiles. "Oh yeah I love working with kids, it's a challenge but I have so much fun doing it."

"It does sound fun. I have a lot of respect for teachers, if I knew how I would probably try teaching too." Having had tutors growing up I remember looking out on the court yard seeing the other children assembled together on wooden benches, whispering secrets to each other and laughing behind the teachers back. I always felt I was missing out on something…

"I think you have what it takes. I haven't known you for long but you seem very patient, understanding and kind. And of course you must be a natural with children, you've taken to motherhood seamlessly," she says bringing me out of my thoughts.

"You think?"

"Yes, of course. I'll bring you to meet my class sometime so you can get a taste of what it's like."

I give her a grin before turning to look over the calm clear lake. We had reached the edge of the water and were now sitting on a fallen tree. The big blue sky was reflected on the surface and it felt transcendental. Almost as if it held all the secrets of life in its clarity but if you were to touch it the ripples would distort the image and the secrets would be lost.

Later in the evening, we'd just had dinner and we were seated at the table. Sophie was teaching me a game of Chinese Checkers and I was learning pretty quickly, much to Sophie's vexation. After I'd won three times in a row she throws her hands in the air and grunts. I just smirk at her, leaning back in my chair to sip the rest of my hot chocolate.

"I used to beat Ben at this all the time… I'm beginning to think he let me win," she laughs.

"Now that is love." I laugh out, instantly worried I'd hit a sensitive spot. But even though her smile fades a little it doesn't disappear altogether.

Looking up from beneath her lashes, smiling, she gives me a sneaky look and asks with careful humour, "Oh, and how do you come to _that_ conclusion?"

Realising she wants to keep holding on to the happy memories I allow myself the same and say, "Because that is what Emma's father used to do too. Not all the time though since he knows I love a challenge. But at the beginning he did, until I caught him in the act and asked him to quit it…" I smile at the memory of his huge grin when I'd punched him in the arm and he'd cowered in mock horror peeking out from behind his raised arms. "He still let me win at things from time to time, but I let him do it because I think it made him happy, it's just one of the things that proved that he loves me."

Sophie just leans forward and takes my hand in hers, "I'm sorry he couldn't come with you."

Touched by the sincerity in her words and the fact that she hadn't asked any questions, I lay my other hand on top of hers, take an unsteady breath and say, "Me too. But we'll find our way back to each other, I have faith in that."

"Then so do I," she says with conviction.

I'd readied myself for bed and I was just folding my cloak and placing it in mine and Emma's shared bag. Sophie had grabbed one of her spare coats from home for me to use instead, saying that cloaks weren't really in fashion at the moment – whatever that meant. My fingers linger on the worn pink threads that make out the delicate flower pattern. It had belonged to my mother, and my father had told me how she'd been embroidering these flowers while she was pregnant with me.

Making my way over to the bed where Emma is already sleeping I slip under the sheets, I lean over to kiss her head and my eyes fly open. She's burning up!

My hands cup her head and forehead and it's like she's on fire. "No, no, no. Emma!" I say as I lift her up and try to wake her up. Panic is rising in my chest when she doesn't. "Wake up honey, wake up!" I start to sob, she stirs and opens her eyes a little but she is very lethargic.

"Sophie!" I yell urgently. I hear her rushed footsteps approaching.

"What is it?!" Sophie asks alarmingly seeing the tears in my eyes.

"Emma is burning up, something's wrong…" My voice breaks at the last word. I had absolutely no idea what to do.

"We need to go to the hospital right away, she's just days old and it could be serious, get dressed and grab your things…" she says in a rush as she runs off, "we need wet towels to try keep her temperature down…" I can hear her talking to herself trying to keep calm and focused.

I on the other hand am shaking like a leaf as I pull my pants on, I could barely manage tying the shoelaces. Emma was crying now, high pitched and distressed, it sounded like she was in pain. When I lift her up she screams even more.

"I'm sorry baby. It'll be okay, mama's here." I tell her as I gently rock her in my arms. It doesn't seem to have sooth her at all, and it scares me.

I meet Sophie by the door, her eyes wide and worried, clearly picking up on Emma's aching cries.

"I've got everything ready and placed in the car. Let me get that for you," she says grabbing my bag out of my hand and goes out the door. I follow close behind with a wailing Emma.

I get in this 'car', and I have no idea what it's made of. It's the oddest looking carriage I've ever seen. Sophie had to open the door for me because in my panicked state I couldn't get it open. Emma continues to scream, her face bright red. Sophie pulls out what looks like keys and turns it in a lock but nothing happens.

"Come on! Not now dammit!" she growls through her teeth, her hands shaking like crazy. She turns the key back and forth for several minutes, and I don't know what should be happening until I hear a roar from somewhere in the car and I almost jump out of my seat.

Wide eyed I turn to Sophie but she just tilts her head back and lets out a big sigh, looking relieved. "Thank you God!" she exclaims. She moves a stick, looks behind her and we move backwards making me jump again.

"I put the wet towels in the bag by your feet. Wipe Emma down while I drive."

I reach down and take one out, dabbing Emma's forehead. Her cries die down and it seems to make her feel a little more comfortable, but she still whimpers, her mouth quivering.

"How far away are we?" I dare ask.

"The nearest hospital is two hours..."

"Two hours!"

"Well I plan on breaking some speed limits. Don't worry we'll make it," she says but I don't hear enough conviction in her voice to fully believe her. But we were going really fast, unbelievably fast, no race horse I've ridden could accomplish this speed.

The ride is quiet except for Emma's whimpers and cries. It's an hour down the road when she goes quiet and limp in my arms. Sweat breaks out on my forehead and I hold my breath trying to wake her up but she doesn't move.

"Emma?" My voice is weak and pleading. I feel the colour drain from my face and my heart fills with dread.

"Is she breathing?" Sophie asks with fear lacing her voice.

I open the blanket up more placing my hand on her chest and for a moment time stops moving and I feel utterly numb, but then I feel it. Her chest is moving and I can even feel her rapid heart underneath it and I let out a breath of relief but my relief is short lived.

"Is she!?" Sophie asks with more urgency.

"Yes." It comes out a whisper. "But her breathing is shallow…" I feel the speed increasing even more.

I fix my eyes on those tiny movements of her breathing, scared to death that it would stop. I try to think back, when did she get sick? How? Why?  
She seemed fine this morning, she'd been awake and alert… but she didn't nurse for long. She hadn't eaten as much as she used to during the day and she hadn't wanted to nurse at all earlier this evening before I put her to bed. I should've noticed, guilt creeping up my spine. 'I should've known, I should've known, I should've known' I think as my eyes brim with tears and I start to cry.

"I'm glad it's in the middle of the night and not a lot of traffic." Sophie says. "It's not far off now," she tells me.

She makes sharp curves in the road, slowing down and speeding up at intervals. I won't take my eyes off Emma for a second so I never look up to see where she's going or what's going on. Not until she comes to a complete stop with the car, she exits the car and runs around to my side and helps me out.

Grabbing me by the arms she ushers me to the doors. This is where I look up and see glass doors opening by their own accord. I cringe back. Nothing moves on its own unless magic is involved, my memory flashing back to the Queen breaking through the palace doors by a mere flick of her wrist.

"Hey, what's wrong? We need to find a doctor." Sophie says urgently as she wraps her arm around my shoulders, coaxing me through the doors. I cower into her arms with Emma in mine and push through.

As we enter I am temporarily blinded. Impossibly bright lights, everything is white and bare. I've never felt more disoriented. I can hear Sophie screaming for someone to come and help us, and then shuffling of feet. My eyes adjust as this white clad middle aged man runs up to me and tries to take Emma from me.

"No!" I yell. "Don't take her from me. Don't take her!"

I can't let her go.

"Please ma'am we only want to help, I have to examine the baby." The man reasons with me. My grip on Emma loses and he goes to grab her again. I stiffen but reluctantly let him take her.

He then runs off down the hall and it only takes a split second and I run after him, not wanting to lose sight of Emma. He places her on this huge bed with stark white sheets, and then takes this rope thing from around his neck and puts the end of it over Emma's heart.

He speaks to the other people there and they move so quickly that I can't keep up but I know it's serious - Emma's lips were turning blue. My view gets blocked by the doctor and I walk sideways until I can see her again, but what I see is absolutely horrifying and I gasp. He's pressing something big and shiny down her throat and I can't believe how I could've trusted him to take care of her. I feel anger and desperation rising up in me and I launch forward screaming on the top of my lungs.

"STOP IT. YOU'RE HURTING HER… GET AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!"

I don't get far until one of the others stops me in my tracks, I lash out knocking her to the floor but two more come up from behind grabbing my arms.

"LET GO OF ME! HOW DARE YOU! SHE'S _MY_ CHILD… YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THIS!" I try yanking my arms free but I can't.

"Get her out of here." He says, now inserting something long down her throat.

"Got it," he says removing the big shiny thing leaving behind the other, and that is all I see before a curtain is drawn and shuts me out. I grow hysterical, trying to fight my way back. I jab my elbow into the woman on my right and shoot a fist in the other woman's face freeing myself from their grip.

As I was about to go back in I see them wheeling Emma off into another room, I rush to the door to open it and go after them when Sophie steps in.

"You can't go in there. You have to let them do their job. They are doing their best to help her." Sophie says trying to calm me down.

"NO! _I'm_ her mother I have to be there with her." I scream at her as I try to reach behind her and get a hold on the door handle. "_I'm_ supposed to be the one to help her. It's supposed to be _my_ job to keep her safe. It's my fault she's sick…" I can feel the fight draining from me as the realisation dawns on me in full. "I should've known something was wrong. She was outside in the cold, only in a blanket. I should've wrapped her up more. It's my fault… It's all my fault…" I crumple into Sophie's arms sobbing. I cry muffled cries into her shoulder, tears flowing down my cheeks. I can feel her arms tightening around me.

"It's not your fault Mary. These things happen… it's not your fault."

She says this over and over. Her voice is so soft and sincere that I almost believe her but I can't shake the guilt that is eating at me. I cling to her for support thinking that if I let go I'll shatter…'her lips were blue'… I think picturing Emma's tiny body in the middle of that huge bed. Tears stream down my face in silence, quiet sobs wrack my body erratically until I run on empty and all that is left is trying to catch my breath.

I lose track of time, the longer it takes the more hopeless I feel.

I never noticed moving anywhere but Sophie has me sitting down on a bench, then she sits right next to me and I lay my head on her shoulder staring into nothing.

If there was a time to feel desolated and alone, this would be it. I long for Charming, I long to have his strong arms around me, his hand rubbing my back and whispering words of pure comfort in my ear. Feeling the warmth of his breath brushing against my neck whereby I would grip his shirt in my hands bringing him closer. There will never be a safer place than being in his arms, my heart aches for him to be here and tell me it'll be alright. I let out a long ragged breath and a single stray tear runs over the bridge of my nose, landing in the palm of my hand.

I hear voices but I can't make out any words. Sophie stands up but still keeps her grip on my hand.

"What's the girl's name?" Someone asks.

"Her name is Emma." Sophie says, which gets my attention and I look up. It's the same doctor from before and I start seeing red. I stand up to advance on him but my head starts spinning and I fall back down, breathing heavily.

Sophie rush to my side, but the man keeps his distance.

"Ma'am… your daughter is stable, she stopped breathing so we had to intubate her…"

What is he saying? I can't… "Is she okay?" That is all I want to know.

"Yes, for now. We suspect it's a pretty serious infection…"

"Can I see her?" I interrupt him again. I just need to see her… be with her, the rest can wait. I can't think straight enough to make any sense of anything he's trying to explain to me. All I want is to make sure Emma is okay.

"I'm sorry I think she's still in a bit of a shock. Is it okay if you tell me instead while you get her to see her daughter?" Sophie asks.

"Are you her family? You are aware I can only discuss these matters with another family member right?"

"She's family!" I interject harshly with an impatient voice, gritting my teeth and having no patience with him at all.

"Okay," he says, flinching slightly at the hostility in my voice. "Come this way, I'll bring you to your child."

Still feeling faint, Sophie helps me and takes my arm in hers but I let it go as soon as I enter Emma's room and see her. Sophie remains by the door to talk to the doctor as I hover over Emma. She's lying in a smaller bed similar to a crib but it looked cold and stiff and it reminded me of death, but that wasn't as bad as the image of my baby with wires sticking out of her and that ghastly tube in her mouth. With tears brimming in my eyes again I reach out, wanting to remove it but I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Please don't. It's helping her breathe for the moment, as soon as she becomes a little stronger and can breathe fully on her own we'll take it out… okay?"

I shrug his hand off at the sound of his voice but nod curtly in response. He leaves the room with a promise that he'd check on us in a little while.

My hand had never left Emma's since I arrived at her side, I placed my finger in her fist but she didn't grip back, which felt like a needle in my heart… a reminder of how close I was to losing her. Although she was still warm her lips were no longer blue but I could see her discomfort by the wrinkles on her forehead. "Don't worry Emma I'm right here, I'm sorry…" My voice cracks and I wipe my nose. "I'm right here," I manage to whisper but my throat is in a vice, overcome with emotion.

"Here sit down," Sophie says bringing me a chair. She rubs my back as I sit and I can feel some of the tension fade away. I'd been so scared, I still am, but being with Emma again is a relief and I allow myself to relax a little.

"Would you want me to explain a little about what the doctor said?" She asks and I answer with a nod.

"First of all he told us that we'd done great by bringing her here right away and that we'd used wet cloths to keep her temperature from rising too high. Doing that probably postponed her deterioration. She has a serious infection and the fever is very bad. She's quite weak from fighting it off so that's why she stopped breathing.  
They have her temperature under control now and they are giving her fluids," she explains pointing at a line that strapped to her foot, "because she was severely dehydrated."

She takes a deep breath before continuing. "He also says she's not out of the woods yet and that we have to wait and see if there's been any brain damage…" She says eyeing me carefully from across the bed. I'd been listening closely and I understood what she was saying but I couldn't believe it, Emma was not weak she was strong and she was fighting like crazy, which says her mind is made up to beat this and I believe in her. I believe this was just one of those battles she was sent here to fight, fight and conquer. My only regret is that she was put in this situation to begin with… because of me and the mistakes I've made.

I lay my head down on the bed right next to her… caressing her cheek.

"Are you okay?" Sophie asks worriedly.

"Yes," I whisper.

"I'm going to go look for some coffee or something, will you be alright for a minute?"

She interprets my silence as a yes and leaves me alone with Emma. 'Of course I'll be alright' I think, 'as long as I'm with you'.

I start so sing her a lullaby. This time it's the one my mother sang to me the last time I saw her, wanting to honour her memory and pull from her strength. She knew she wasn't going to see me again but still she made me feel safe and loved… she put me first even though it must've been the hardest thing she'd ever done. I was curled up right next to her, I had my head on her chest and she was combing through my dark curls. Her voice, even though it was weak, was the most beautiful voice… none other could compare…

And as I think of her and as I gently run my fingers over Emma's fair head of hair I sing.

_Slumber my darling, thy mother is near_

_Guarding thy dreams from all terror and fear_

_Sunlight has passed and the twilight has gone_

_Slumber, my darling, the nights coming on_

_Sweet visions attend thy sleep, fondest dearest to me_

_While others their revels keep, I will watch over thee_

_Slumber, my darling, the birds are at rest,_

_The wandering dews by the flow'rs are caressed,_

_Slumber, my darling, I'll wrap thee up warm,_

_And pray that the angels will shield thee from harm_

_Slumber, my darling, till morn's blushing ray_

_Brings to the world the glad tidings of day;_

_Fill the dark void with thy dreamy delight—_

_Slumber, thy mother will guard thee tonight_

_Thy pillow shall sacred be, from all outward alarms;_

_Thou, thou are the world to me, in thine innocent charms_

_Slumber, my darling, the birds are at rest,_

_The wandering dews by the flow'rs are caressed,_

_Slumber, my darling, I'll wrap thee up warm,_

_And pray that the angels will shield thee from harm_

…

* * *

**I think I will make a time jump in the next chapter, just as a heads up. A small one and it will be a fluffy Christmas one even though I don't know when I will be able to post it, hopefully before new year ;)**

**Please review and share your thoughts on this! :D**

**Ps. the lullaby is 'Slumber my Darling' by Allison Krauss – my absolute favourite! (I like to think Snow thinks of her mother more than people think and I just love bringing her into the story every now and then).**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I offer my deepest apologies for not updating sooner. Believe me when I tell you I've been checking your comments, I have had you in my thoughts and dear 'Guest/Anon' all I have to say as an excuse is that I spent my holidays living under the same roof as my parents, my sister and her kids and a whole bunch of relatives running around. I stole a few moments to myself whenever I could to write this chapter, which I finished today (having moved back to my student dorm yesterday and finally getting time to myself). And if I were ever to end this story I would tell you beforehand, I wouldn't just leave you hanging - I never leave things unfinished when other people rely on me.  
**

**Back to the story, as I mentioned before this is a minor time jump. I know the holidays are over but I worked too hard on this to skip the whole idea. I hope it is to your liking, it's the longest chapter yet and the hardest to write because I had to start over every time I opened the file not knowing where I left off etc. I've read it through so many times I don't even know if it makes any sense anymore xD**

**Please review! Sorry! Love you! Enjoy!**

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Chapter 5

"Emma sweetheart could you give mama that red ball," I ask her pointing to the table next to her.

Emma looked up from where she was sitting on the floor. She was still in her pyjamas, which was this pale blue nightie covered in bright yellow stars, her adorable little legs and arms bare. Her blonde curls bounced around her beautiful face as she stood up on wobbly legs, supporting herself on the edge of the table. She had been playing with some of the Christmas ornaments while I and Sophie arranged the lights in the tree.

"That's right… you got it," I say encouragingly when she reaches for one of the red shiny balls that are spread across the table. But instead of giving it to me she tries to put it in her mouth and she gets frustrated when it won't fit so she raises a chubby arm and aims to throw it.

"No, no honey," I laugh. "Give it to me."

She hands it over and I take it gingerly between two fingers, baby slobber covering it. I roll my eyes and giggle wiping it off with my sleeve. I feel a tugging on my leg and look down, seeing Emma raising her arms up. "Uh, uh!" she voices at me, begging me to pick her up. Giving her a wide smile and watching it being mirrored on her face as I bend down and lift her up never ceases to warm my heart.

This time last year Emma was still recovering from her illness, they told us it was something called meningitis, she'd had to stay at the hospital for a few weeks until I got to take her home, and I'd been depressed and guilt ridden the whole time so that first Christmas was not the most happiest. Besides the Christmas holidays in this world wasn't exactly something I was used to, we've had winter feasts and other celebrations that were kind of similar in some respects but someone called Santa Claus coming down the chimney wasn't one of them, shaking my head at the very thought.

It's been a hard first year in so many ways, I'd been forced to process a lot of new information and I've been studying hard to accommodate to this life, I still am but it's getting easier as time goes by. It's also been lovely to stay with Sophie but I've always felt that I and Emma have to be able to make it on our own as well and we need to find a place of our own. Sophie and I have been talking more and more about it and she understands and as always wants to help me with that transition, she's even gotten me a spot as a substitute teacher at the elementary school she works at, my first job will be an art project with her class after the holidays. The only thing that bothers me is the idea of having to leave Emma in someone else's care, the very thought makes me want to hold her even closer.

Emma squirms in my arms and tries to get my attention, pointing at the tree. "Eh… eh!" she tells me. Sophie's been hanging decorations while I've been lost in thought and already has her side of the tree finished. Emma is clearly jealous and wants to do it too judging by her attempt to wry the ball out of my hand.

"Okay, okay. Here, if you hold the ball I grab the string and we can do it together," I instruct her as I lean us over to the closest branch. We get it hanging on the branch just fine but Emma then decides to grab the branch too without knowing that it would feel so prickly and cries out. Whimpering she cowers into me, burying her face in my hair.

"Oh, honey. Let me see," I say comfortingly as I coax her to show me her hand, which looked absolutely fine but I gave her palm a row of soft kisses. She peeks up at me with teary eyes but she grins and turns in my arms pointing to the table, wanting us to keep decorating the tree, and we busy ourselves with this until there are none left. Standing back we all admire our creation, Emma clapping her hands in joy when Sophie plugs in the lights and it lights up beautifully.

It's the day before Christmas and we'd been out last minute last night to get the tree, which was absurd… the fact that you had to buy one instead of cutting one down ourselves, but apparently there are laws and of course being in the city makes it more practical to just get one at the market. Anyway, we decorated the entire apartment and then the tree, all of us still in our night wear listening to holiday tunes on the radio.

Discovering music here is one of my favourite things, I've always loved to sing and we'd always had musicians playing at balls and other celebrations but never this accessible and this varied, it's like I've discovered a well of fortune in a sense. I think about this as I sway Emma around to the tunes of 'Do you hear what I hear?' singing along joyfully, making her giggle with delight bouncing up and down.

"_Do you see what I see? A star, a star dancing in the night, with a tail as big as a kite, with a tail as big as a kite…"_

Sophie smiles at the two of us and says, "I thought we'd go to the park after lunch, it snowed a lot last night and it hasn't let up yet, I bet it's just beautiful outside and perfect for a walk."

At the word 'walk' Maverick's head popped up out of his bed, ears in the air, tail wagging.

I interrupt my singing and laugh at the sight of his excitement. "That sounds wonderful Sophie," I tell her. I twirled to the window with Emma so that we could look out at the snowflakes slowly dwindling down. Emma places a hand on the glass and tapping at it and I say, "Emma loves snow, right honey?" Her bright blue eyes twinkle and she puts her arms around my neck and I hug her tight, still swaying to the music as I do so.

* * *

Emma was all bundled up, all you could see was her little scrunched up face peeking out from all the layers. She could hardly move, but being pulled in a little kids sleigh and having so much to look at she was happy as can be. I didn't want to risk her getting sick ever again from exposure… yeah I still blame myself for that. Even though the doctors told us meningitis could've arisen from a number of reasons and could happen to anyone.

We lived quite close to the park and as we enter it and see the ally of trees covered in layers of snow I gasp at its beauty. There are a few foot prints in the snow ahead of us but other than that it was all untouched. The air was still and big flakes were falling thickly from a light grey sky. I looked behind me to check on Emma and she was trying to look straight up to see where the snow was coming from but the flakes landed in her eyelashes and made her eyes flutter and her clumsy gloved hands went up to her face to wipe them away.

"Aw! Look at her discovering new things," Sophie says with a giggle.

"Yes, I haven't seen snow fall like this in a long time… it's magical." I smile, happy to be here to witness Emma's first moment of winter wonder.

I love winter because it has that hidden beauty that most people forget, too concerned about the dark and the cold, mainly waiting for spring to arrive to bring back life to the world, but it's important to cherish the stillness it brings and to reflect on seasons passed and to plan ahead. For now, on this day it's just calm beauty, time spent with my daughter. Making memories… taking in moment by precious moment.

We walk a little ways through the trees, along the path until we make it around the pond and to our favourite spot, a bench right by this great oak tree. We'd brought hot chocolate and while I wipe the snow off the bench and putting a blanket down to sit on Sophie opens the bag to get our cups and thermos.

"Here we go," Sophie says, lifting Emma up and handing her over to me, and then sitting down herself on the other end.

She'd placed the cups between us and was now pouring the chocolate into each of our cups. Emma had her own little sippy cup, which Sophie put down in the snow so that it would cool off faster. Emma loved hot chocolate already, but who wouldn't. I didn't allow her to have sweet things in general, but this is a treat I wouldn't have her missing out on. She knew what was coming and was getting excited in my lap, leaning down as far as she could, trying to get to the cup.

"Hold on little missy, it'll be yours in a minute," I say wrestling with her. "Look, look here," I say with a slightly over excited voice, the way you do when you want to get a child's attention.

I reach out with my glove, catching snowflakes as they fall and bring them close for Emma to see.

"Can you see the pretty snowflakes? They are all unique and beautiful… just like you my love," I whisper with awe in her ear and I can feel her go still. The flakes were really big and clear but as she inches closer to see them better her breath melts them away, and she cries out dismayfully. "Here", I reassure her catching a few more. She smiles.

"It's snow Emma. Can you say snow?" I ask.

"She hasn't even said mama yet, aren't we advancing a bit far with that one", Sophie teases light-heartedly.

"Doesn't hurt to try," I say with a smile. I try asking her again a few times but she just coos and grins at me.

"Ah well, she'll tell us when she's ready, how about some coco baby girl?" Sophie says, immediately getting Emma's attention as she hands her the cup after checking the temperature. Her mittens are in the way so I help her bring it to her mouth. Delight clear in her eyes as she gulps it down.

Maverick who'd been bouncing about in the snow for a while came up to us whisking his tail, begging for a treat. Sophie reached into her pocket to fish out a few dog treats, throwing them in the air making him jump to catch them. He was really good at it and it always made Emma laugh, and she did.

An elderly woman and her daughter walked by and I caught their eye and I saw them smiling wide genuine smiles at the sight of us all laughing and for a second I could imagine the future. Emma all grown up… I will tell her about this then… about this beautiful day.

* * *

After dinner that evening it was time for Emma's bath, it was one of my favourite times of the day because Emma loved it so much. She gets all riled up during dinner knowing what comes afterwards and it's hard getting her to finish eating with all her bouncing up and down in her chair. It's always a messy business at the table. I don't know how she always ends up with food all over, hands face and hair, even in her ears. I try not to laugh too much - which would encourage her more and feeding her would become impossible - but it's also impossible not to get wrapped up in her jolliness and I have to stifle and supress laughs and giggles the whole time. Usually I have to ask Sophie to distract her and use all sorts of goofy tricks to make Emma open her mouth. Emma had been especially active tonight, so much so that both of us got splattered with apple sauce at one point which had her laughing hysterically.

"That's it! You little trouble-maker you!" I chastise her lovingly, failing miserably at being stern with her, not that I was even trying to be.

"You're a mess, I'm a mess. This is not up to par with any royal etiquette." I inform her jokingly as I hoist her up out of the chair and into the air, a bubbly giggle erupting from between her rosy lips.

The bathroom wasn't big enough for a bathtub so we'd had to get this red plastic children's tub for Emma. I placed her beside me on a towel while I took the shower hose to fill it up, she couldn't sit still of course and she tried climbing in fully clothed.

"No, no..'aah'" I draw in a breath of air and let it out slowly. I'd prevented her falling in all together but her left arm had gone in and her sweater was soaking wet.

"Eh, eh, ah." She gestures to the water demandingly.

"Soon honey, be patient… Sit down and wait, I need to turn the water off," I say as I gently make her sit down again. With a lightning move I turn the water off and seeing her immediately getting up on her knees I quickly return by her side.

"Got ya!"

Emma lets out a whimper of annoyance when I stop her from going in again. She was fed up with waiting.

"Let me just get these clothes off. Stop squirming you little squirrel." I mutter whilst I tug her shirt over her head.

"Tadaa!" I smile at her and hold out my arms. She smiles back and grabs my hands and pulls herself up to a standing position.

"Good girl! In you go." I encourage her lowering her down in the water, much to her instant delight.

Immediately she starts splashing her hands on the surface, water splashing everywhere. I sit on the floor with her getting wetter and wetter but I was starting to get used to it by now. I give her a few toys to play with, her favourite being the rubber ducks. Watching her I start replaying the memory of me and Charming sharing a bath. I think about it every night and I often recite it to Emma as I wash her, it's important for me and for her to bring memories of her father and our time together to life so that he's always with us even if he's not physically here. I want her to grow up knowing him, knowing that he loves her as much as I do.

At first my heart ached dreadfully every time I talked about him and tears streamed down my face every time, but as I repeat the stories for Emma more and more I find that it helps me cope and I somehow miss him a little bit less.

"You know Emma, when I was expecting you I used to get these horrible back aches and all I knew to ease the discomfort was to take long warm baths. I so envy you right now, I would love to crawl in there with you." I tell her and she gives me a cheeky grin and splashes the duck around, water hitting my face.

"Hey!" I laugh. "No teasing."

"So…" I continue. "Not every time but often enough your father would join me and I would lay back against his chest, we'd talk about all sorts of things, but this one time when my belly was getting significantly bigger he placed his hands on top of mine on my stomach and said - _"I claim bath time as father-baby-bonding time"_ - just out of the blue.

"_What? You can't just claim and choose family bonding moments for yourself," I say with mock anger, and a bit surprised at this precise thought of his._

"_Indeed I can, I will most likely be busy during the day and then you get to have her all by yourself for hours on end, it's only fair." I can hear in his voice that he thinks he's winning this round with his flawless reasoning skills. I can only roll my eyes and smile. I turn my head around and look at him, witnessing a grin wide on his face._

"_Okay fine, but not forever and always. My royal duties won't be put on hold for long. I can't have you running things on your own too long either, just imagine the messes you'll make in my absence, your organisational skills are appalling." He raises an eyebrow, pulling an 'Oh really!' face._

"_Oh you know it," I giggle and wipe soap bubbles on his nose and chin. _

"_Yeah, I don't know how I ever managed life without you." He says giving me a peck on the head. "And I won't banish you from bath time. I need you with me showing me how it's done. I have no clue how to care for an infant."_

"_And you think I do? I've never learned how to be a parent either, and it scares me…"_

"_Don't worry my love," he interrupts reassuringly, "You're going to be a natural, of that I am certain, our child will want for nothing as long as he or she has you." He hugs me tighter to him and I place my arms over his. 'She is so going to be daddy's little girl, I'm sure of it', I say softly with a thousand emotions coursing through my veins. _

"_You think?" He asks with a hint of worry in his voice. I turn to face him again and instead of answering him I just confirm it with a warm lingering kiss._

I always end the story there, because after that I succumb to worry, I spent night after night worrying that the dreams we shared wouldn't come to be, and they didn't. Emma shouldn't be told of the curse, not yet, I want to spare her the pain as long as I can. Besides… bath time is over now, having cleaned her while I was talking. I wrap her up in a towel and head for the living room.

Sophie had been gift wrapping and was just finishing up, putting the presents under the tree.

"Hello princess!" she says aloud when she sees Emma, and Emma is just as happy to see Sophie uttering a row of giddy gurgles.

"I'm going to grab her pyjamas. Do you mind dressing her while I take a quick shower?"

"I'd love to," she says before she gives Emma a big smooch on her sweet cheek.

Fifteen minutes later I come back, still drying my hair with a towel, long damp curls hanging over my shoulder. Emma is on the floor with Maverick tugging his ears, he's a very patient and caring dog and Emma loves him a lot. The first time she stood up with support was with him, him being her support. He'd been lying on the floor and when he stood up Emma followed suit, having grabbed hold of his collar.

I sit down in the rocking chair and Emma sees me and starts crawling over to me. I lift her up, setting her on my lap, facing me. She yawns and rubs a chubby fist in her eye. I pull her close so that she lies down on my chest and she just sighs and snuggles closer.

I feel her fingers playing with my necklace, the one I always wear, the one Charming gave me the day after our visit with Rumplestiltskin and him finding out that we were having a girl. Two silver snowflakes on a silver chain, one embedded with diamonds and the other – smaller one – with pale pink gems.

I hear her voicing something. "Hm?" I utter questioningly? And then she repeats it.

"'No" Emma says.

It sounds like she's saying 'No' and I peek down at her and she's placing her finger on the necklace and repeats it a few more times until it sinks in that she's saying 'Snow', she'd remembered and I was amazed.

My breath catches in my throat and my eyes well up, I don't want to share the moment so I stay quiet but I hug her closer and whispers praises in her ear. "That's right honey, I'm so proud of you, you are my brilliant baby girl."

I glance over at Sophie who's slouched on the couch reading a book, totally enthralled in whatever story she's venturing into. The radio is softly playing in the kitchen, and I can make out the words to 'Oh Holy Night'. In contrast to the total calm around me my mind was reeling with emotion, I could barely contain it. All I did to express my happiness was to kiss her head and continuously stroke her hair, rocking back and forth in the chair. Her first word… my name.

Emma's breathing has evened out and she's asleep, I stage whisper to Sophie to toss Emma's blanket over and she does, I then spread it over us both still rocking, warmth spreads through my entire body. I can feel Emma's warm breath on my chest and her hand was grabbing my hair. I place my arms around her and close my eyes.

* * *

Christmas morning; Sophie was such an early bird – I could smell the cinnamon before I was fully awake. I felt around for Emma, whom I'd brought to bed with me last night not wanting to put her in her crib, but she must've crawled out the door to the other room already.

I stretched and rolled out of bed in one smooth motion, tip toeing into the kitchen where Emma was sitting in her chair by the table. Her back was to me so I couldn't help sneaking up on her and …

"Boo!" I say in her ear as I simultaneously tickle her. She shrieks and I hear a clatter in the sink as Sophie drops some sort of cutlery.

I proceed to give Emma kisses all over her cheeks and Sophie, finding her voice again says "Yikes! Mary!" She looks at us exasperatedly and sternly, but her lips were tugging upwards and we both start laughing.

Wiping tears of laughter from my eyes I say "Sorry, I didn't mean to get you too. It was an unforeseen chain reaction."

"Suure," she says totally unconvinced but with a smirk and taking in a deep breath of air. "I'll get you back when you least expect it."

"You could try, but with my super senses I doubt it," I reply with a wink.

"I already gave Emma a snack, thought it would be best. Wouldn't want a hunger tantrum in the middle of opening presents now would we? I have cinnamon sprinkled cups of coco for the both of us," taking both cups off the counter. "Shall we?" she says nodding to the living room.

Nodding I grab Emma and walk to sit on the floor by the tree. I cross my legs and seat her in front of me so that I can help her unwrap her gifts. There aren't many, I wished I could give her more – all the things a princess ought to have – but that comes with having no income and only receiving a meagre sum of child benefits as a single mother.

"Emma should start," Sophie says.

"I want to give her mine first," I tell her and point to a carefully wrapped present tied with a red ribbon. I hold it in front of Emma, I tell her to pull the ribbon and she does and she gets really into ripping the paper off, but I have to help her a little.

I know she doesn't appreciate clothes at this age but Sophie gasps, "Where did you get those? They are absolutely precious!"

"I made them." I say with pride, grateful for the tedious sewing lessons my father had me take when I was younger 'I know you'd rather ride horses and play outside but all things come in handy at one point or another. Learning new things and gaining new knowledge nurtures the heart and soul, it's a never ending well of fortune', he'd say whenever I questioned him about any lesson I found unnecessary.

"I can't believe it, that is amazing," she beams holding up each and every little dress. There are three in total. The first is a pearly white one with lace running along the bottom, around the neck and over her shoulders, very simple but elegant. The second one was a dark red with long sleeves, which had white embroidered flowers around the waist. The third one was forest green with a layered skirt that spread out like a proper ball gown, and I had embroidered butterflies going across the chest and over the shoulder onto the back.

"The white one I made for today," I tell her as I thread it over Emma's head and I grabbed a pair of red leggings to go with it. And to finish it off I took the red ribbon that had been around the present itself and tied it around her waist, tying it into a bow behind her back.

"She's gorgeous," Sophie gushes.

"I made them all different sizes, I hope she'll grow into the green one by summer," I said.

"I wouldn't worry about that. What I do worry about it you outshining me with the gift giving here. I'm not in the least bit creative or talented like that. However, I know I loved this when I was a little girl so I think Emma may like it too," she says pushing forward this rather large awkwardly wrapped present. It's almost bigger than Emma. I shoot Sophie a questioning look but she just shrugs and says "Open it."

Emma and I tore the paper away, she ripped small pieces and I big ones because let's face it I was very curious as to what it could be.

It was made of wood, and as I uncover the head I see that it's a horse… a rocking horse.

"Sophie! This is brilliant, thank you!" I tear up and give her a soft smile.

"Well you have mentioned once or twice how you hope to take Emma horseback riding once she's older, and I figure this is a start." She says cheerily.

"It's perfect."

"I'm glad you like it. Let's see if Emma gets the hang of it?" We turn to Emma who was trying to stand up by it, grabbing it by the neck but it wouldn't stay still so she dropped on her bottom.

Sophie goes to her and helps her get up on it, keeping an arm around her and showing Emma how to sit on it and how to rock it back and forth. At first she is a bit hesitant but she soon breaks into a smile and does it on her own, Sophie still hovers with her hands next to her but Emma is doing it all on her own. Laughing she gets bolder and bolder, almost too fast to my liking but it made me happy too, because her adventurous spirit shines through and it's something she gets from me. I tend to see her father in her more than I do myself, and even though I love her becoming more and more like Charming it is wondrous, incredible and selfishly joyous to see that she is her mother's daughter as well.

"We need to take pictures," Sophie says excitedly. I go to take over her spot by Emma and she hops up and crosses the room and grabs the camera – another one of those magical technological wonders I still can't wrap my head around.

"Smile!"

We both look at her and she snaps the picture, the flash temporarily blinding us both.

"This will be a perfect addition to… this", she says with a sneaky grin and hands me her gift to me. I un-wrap it and it's a photo album. There's one of Emma as a tiny little thing from when we got to bring her home from the hospital right on the cover. It takes me a while to go through the pages of Emma's first year, there aren't many pages filled but each and every one says a million words.

"I love it," I say now visibly crying my heart out.

"I'm glad," she says softly and hugs me. Before letting go she adds "I have one more for Emma."

"It's too much already," I say humbly, once again amazed by the generosity of this woman.

"It's just something that used to be mine and I think it should be put to good use again."

She hands it to me and it's a book of fairy tales, "By the brothers Grimm."

"Yes, Snow White is my favourite," she says and my body stiffens.

"Is that so?" I mutter, hiding my knowing smile from her.

"Yes, people should learn a thing or two about compassion, kindness and innocence from her."

I can only nod and say thank you again.

"I put yours over there," pointing right behind her where Emma was currently sitting, throwing paper in the air, Maverick lying next to her and keeping a watchful eye over her.

"S'cuse me my lady", she mumbles to Emma as she gingerly steps over her. I watch as she opens it and then see the shock on her face.

"Emma helped me make it," I say beckoning Emma to come sit with me. She does and we both sit expectantly waiting for her to say something.

"I can see that, obviously she's just as talented as her mother," she says unfolding the patchwork quilt. It had numerous brightly coloured squares in different patterns, mostly floral and to make it special I had had Emma to make hand- and footprints on some of the fabric to give it a personal touch, I placed them together on one corner and signed it with both our names.

"This is the most heartfelt gift I've ever gotten, no one has ever gone this far in making me anything," her emotion clear in her voice. "I'm in awe! ... Honestly… this must've taken a long time to make. I'm surprised I didn't notice."

Relieved I laugh and loosen my grip on Emma who went over to lay flat on the quilt spread out before her on the floor.

"I guess it did, but I am a stay at home mother… I had a few hours to kill every day," I say lightly and shrug my shoulders casually. 'And it helped me keep away bad thoughts' I add with a silent thought.

"It's not the most perfectly made quilt since I've never made one before, there are a few snags here and there but if don't look too closely you shouldn't notice it too much."

"That just makes me love it even more, thank you so much Mary!" She exclaims rushing over to me giving me a warm hug. In doing so the quilt went over Emma's head, burying her under it and we are interrupted by a muffled squeal and agitated movements from the bundle on the floor.

"Ooops," Sophie says giggling. Then she whips the quilt up so that a rush of air hits Emma in the face and she freezes in the spot before her entire face lights up and laughs and pulls the quilt back over her. Before Sophie gets to do it again, which I know Emma wants and expects I instead lift the whole bundle up in the air taking her by surprise again and I can hear her hysterical laughter from beneath the fabric.

Emma's head pops out and her cheeks are all red and her hair is a mess and it's the most beautiful sight – it always is.

* * *

**There'll be another time jump... not decided what age Emma will be yet. Have to reboot my brain a little to see where I want to take this story next.  
****I'll have you know that I appreciate all of you, thanks also for the favs and the follows!**

**Mwah!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: SO SORRY FOR THE WEEKS I'VE KEPT YOU WAITING. It's ridiculous I know, I won't go into it because that is boring – you don't want an explanation just another chapter ;)**

**I guess you can call this a filler chapter but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. **

**THANK YOU! To all you new followers and to those who put it as your favourite. It means a lot to me.**

**AND OMG MANHATTAN TONIGHT! I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK!**

Chapter 6

I almost fell through the door, out of breath with arms full of groceries and a handbag that dragged across the floor.

This wasn't usually the case, most days I got to pick up Emma from day-care but I had to fill in for a sick colleague at work and I had to work over time. 'Yeah, I'm living this life now' I think to myself as I blow stray strands of hair away my face.

A year ago I'd started taking fencing classes just to get back into shape and also to get close to something that was remotely familiar from my life before. One thing led to another and I was offered a position as a trainer, but not full time and only with the youngest groups. I was thrilled, having found not only a source of income but something I could benefit from in the future, once the curse was broken, and it's fun and keeps me active.

I could hear that Emma and Sophie were in the kitchen, most likely preparing dinner. We alternated nights where we take turns making dinner, because even though Emma and I had finally found a place of our own we still considered Sophie to be part of our little broken family and keeping her in our lives was important. We'd even been lucky to find an apartment in the same building, just one floor below, making this whole arrangement perfect.

That was why Emma's defiant shrieks stopped me in my tracks and made me look up questioningly in the direction of the commotion. Where was the usual laughter and gentle banter?

There was a loud crash and then Sophie's raised voice caught me completely by surprise. I don't think I've ever heard her be like this before, and as I struggle to get my arms out of my coat I urgently walk towards the kitchen.

"EMMA, NO!" She yells. "WHAT DID YOU DO?! YOU DON'T TOUCH THINGS THAT DON'T BELONG TO YOU, COULDN'T YOU JUST SIT STILL?!"

"NO!" Emma screams stubbornly back at her, and I can hear she's on the verge of tears.

I turn the corner and witness Sophie grabbing Emma's hand and smacking her arm, hard, whereby Emma lets out a shocked and hurt cry that puts my heart in a vice.

I gasp and Sophie's head snaps up seeing me in the doorway, the look in her eye changing from rage to that of sudden realisation of what she'd just done, immediately letting go of Emma's arm.

"Mama!" Emma cries, running into my arms.

I lift her up and she tucks her head in the crook of my neck sniffling. I can feel her tears on my skin and her whole body is trembling. I hug her close but I can't get any words out not even to comfort her, I just stare at Sophie in disbelief. I thought I could trust her… I couldn't believe she broke my trust. It hurt. My first reaction was anger and I was about to give her a piece of my mind when my emotions took a turn and I started crying instead.

I started backing out into the hall not breaking eye contact with her, shaking my head.

"Wait! Mary, please!" She choked out with a pained expression on her face. "Let me explain…" her mouth opened to continue but that was it, no explanation presented itself and I really didn't want to stay one minute longer waiting for one.

I walked down the hall, stopping only to reach for my handbag that had my keys. Then I was out the door with Emma still holding a tight grip around my neck.

Slamming the door shut behind me I tiredly lean back against it and slide down to the floor. We sit like this for a few minutes and I was beginning to think Emma had fallen asleep because the trembling had stopped. I glance down to check but her curls were covering her face so I reached over to sweep them behind her ear. Her eyes were open and she was just frozen, staring into thin air, her fist grabbing a chunk of my own hair, something she always did when she was upset.

"Emma?" No reaction.

"Emma?" I try again, rubbing her back trying to get her attention.

She leans back and looks up at me, her eye lashes wet with tears. "Are you okay?" I ask.

Her chin begins to tremble and more tears form in the corner of her eyes. "I'm sorry I was bad Mama… I made Sophie mad," she hiccoughs and starts crying.

"Oh honey, no matter what mistakes we make, hitting is never the answer." I tell her wiping away her tears. "I will talk with her and tell her it was not okay to do that to you, but can you tell me what happened? What made Sophie mad?"

As angry and disappointed I was with Sophie right now I needed to calm Emma down and maybe myself at the same time. There had to be a good reason for this to happen.

I can see her thinking, eyes wandering away from mine. "I broke a cup." Emma says shamefully and lowers her head, twirling her little fingers around the buttons on my shirt.

Emma was quite the wild child and accidents happened, she bumps into things or climbs over tables and shelves all the time, it certainly wasn't the first time she'd broken something. Why was this different?

For whatever reason it may be it doesn't excuse Sophie from hitting my child. A three year old shouldn't be punished for something she couldn't possibly understand.

"Can I see your arm?"

Emma nods and I bring her arm forward to look closer, she was only wearing a t-shirt so I could easily see the reddening on her inner forearm. I put my palm over it and stroke it gently.

"It's alright sweetie, it'll go away real soon." I give her an uplifting smile.

"How about I whip up some Mac n' Cheese?" I ask excitedly and lift her off my lap.

"Yeah! I'm hungry. Sophie was making rice." She said scrunching up her nose in disgust, taking my hand in hers helping me up from the floor, I grunted and pretended I couldn't have gotten up without her help.

"Oh thank you honey," I say with mock exhaustion making her giggle. And with that everything was more or less forgotten on Emma's part.

"What's wrong with rice?"

"S'like eatin squishy pebbles… bleh!" She answers hopping up on a kitchen chair.

I laugh at her creative description and say, "Yeah, I think you're right. How was day care today? Did you play with Lana and Robbie?"

At this her face lights up and told me how they'd built sand castles and climbed the jungle gym. Lana got caught in the net part and had started crying so Emma had to run for help. Robbie apparently had just laughed, which led to some bickering.

"That was really nice of you Emma. Did Robbie say sorry?"

"Yeah, I told him he couldn't play with us anymore if he didn't." Her face shifting into a serious expression that was utterly adorable.

I give her a proud smile and place our plates with Mac n' Cheese on the table. "Good call honey," I tell her and reach out to stroke her cheek.

"You know… your father trapped me in a net once and I wasn't that happy about being stuck either."

Emma not having heard this particular story before has my full attention. "Why? Was papa being mean?" With that question those familiar worry wrinkles appear on her forehead and I give her a wistful smile.

"Not really sweetie, I guess it was just his way to make me listen to him." I avoided the part where I'd stolen from him and explained that he needed my help. "It was the first time we ever really properly met."

"What did'e say?" she asks shovelling another spoonful of Mac n' Cheese into her mouth.

"He told me he wanted this back," I hold out my hand and point to the ring on my finger.

Confused she asks, "You had it?"

"No, but I knew where it was and I helped him get it back." I was trying to wrap this up before it got too complicated.

"Did'e give it to you then?" An expectant smile spreads across her face.

"No, but you know what?" I lean closer to her and whisper secretively, "That was the moment I fell in love with him." Then I give her a quick wink and sit up grabbing the dishes and walk over to the sink. "Finish your milk it's time for your bath and then bed."

"Nooo mamaa!" she pleads, "Tell me more!"

She loves it when I talk about her father and she always begs for more. Every time I dread the moment when she'll ask me why he's not with us, or where he is. At the moment she seems to be okay with the explanation that he's far away but we'll see him when she's older.

"Another time honey, it's been a long day. If you're quick and do as I say we might have time for a bedtime story."

With that she slides of the chair and tugs her shirt over her head and pulls her pants down right there in the kitchen.

"Emma!" For a second the tiredness in me made me annoyed and was about to tell her to not mess around and do as I say. But her cheeky innocent grin got the better of me and I didn't want to argue with her. She'd had enough of drama for one day.

I go into the, I'm-going-to-get-you stance, crouching down and spreading out my arms. I could see the happy thrill this gave her and she tensed up, giggling in amused panic, just waiting for me to make my move.

She takes off like lightning as I lunge forward, and I chase after her little naked body, screams mingled with laughter as I now and then nip her in the butt. She runs around the coffee table and crawls across the couch, she then jumps off the armrest and aims for her room, but her feet barely touches the floor when I catch her.

"Got 'ya!" I growl into her neck as I wrap my arms around her. She wriggles and giggles as I turn her around to blow raspberries on her tummy, which produce more maniacal laughter.

Gasping for air she begs me to stop, and I do. "Ready for your bath then, missy?"

"Yes!" She says, panting.

"Okay then, go choose which toys you want to bring in the tub."

I lift her up in a tight embrace to give her a kiss on the cheek, still cradling her in my arms, before I lower her down to the floor. She runs off down the hall, her bare feet drumming across the floor.

* * *

We lived in a one bedroom apartment and I had instantly made that one bedroom into a nursery, granted Emma was almost two by the time we moved but I needed to give her that space. She'd lost her chance to grow up in the castle nursery, which was all I ever dreamed of when I was pregnant with her, so this was me trying to fill that void and attempt to make up for our losses.

I had her pick out the wallpaper and with Peter Rabbit being her favourite story she picked the kind that had Beatrix Potter's characters printed all over. Her rustic little girls' bed that Sophie found in an antique store that was going out of business, it has a worn down, white painted wooden frame and across the headboard I had added twinkle lights. Her bed was pushed into the far left corner and gossamer curtains hung from the ceiling. Other than that there was a little shelf where we kept all her books, a children's desk with a little chair, a fluffy little rug, a dresser and a bean bag on the floor.

Having bathed and dressed Emma in her pyjamas I was now sitting on her bed with her standing in front of me, brushing her hair. It was easier to handle when it was still damp and I proceeded to divide her hair into two pigtails and so preventing it from tangling in her sleep.

"There you go. You can go pick a story now." I say with a yawn, watching her run a finger across all the book spines on her shelf.

"Hmmmm…" She thinks, her tongue jutting out in the corner of her mouth in concentration.

"Make it quick Emma, mama's tired, you don't want me to fall asleep waiting for you to choose do you?" I peel back the covers and make myself as comfortable as possible.

"This one!" She exclaims excitedly, running over to me, crawling over me to lie furthest to the wall. I pull the covers over the both of us and she hands me the book while she tucks a stuffed purple dragon in the crook of her arm.

I scoot down so that she can lay her head on my shoulder, then I notice her choice of fairy tale.

"Little Snow-White?" This was the book Sophie gave us, which I've never had the heart to read yet. "Why this one sweetie?" I asked because usually she wanted me to read Peter Rabbit every night.

"I don't know. She's pretty, she looks like you." She said matter-of-factly and pointed on the drawing on the cover.

"I guess she does," I say with a dry laugh, not sure about how I should feel about this. I hadn't dared read this even to myself, I wasn't familiar with it and unsure of how much truth there is in it and where it would lead.

"Read then mama." She urges, reaching out to open the book for me.

'Okay let's do this' I think as I take a breath and start reading.

"'_Once upon a time in the middle of winter, when the flakes of snow were falling like feathers from the sky, a queen sat at a window sewing, and the frame of the window was made of black ebony. And whilst she was sewing and looking out of the window at the snow, she pricked her finger with the needle, and three drops of blood fell upon the snow. And the red looked pretty upon the white snow, and she thought to herself, "Would that I had a child as white as snow, as red as blood, and as black as the wood of the window-frame…'"_

I paused a few times, partly because I desperately wanted to correct the story and comment on pretty much everything, I also wanted to check if Emma had fallen asleep but to my surprise she didn't even look tired. She looked absolutely captivated by the story.

The book ended with the wedding… and the evil queen died having been forced to put on red-hot shoes, which made her dance until she dropped down dead...

I don't know how long I'd been staring into space, lost in thought before I notice a tugging on my sleeve. "Mama?...mama?!"

"Y..yes?" I turn to look at her sweet innocent little face.

"Is that the end of the story?" She looks at me questioningly and a little annoyed.

"Yeah" I say haltingly. "Why do you ask?"

"'Cause it can't end like that… it's not happy enough," She says dispirited and drops her head down and runs a tiny finger across the last page of the book on my lap.

I swallow hard and close my eyes. "Not all stories have perfect happy endings, but you know what?" I say and scoot down to her level, placing my head next to hers on the pillow only inches away. She rolls towards me on her side and looks me in the eye. "What?" she says curiously.

I move my hand up to her face and place it over her cheek, my thumb caressing her soft skin. Not sure of how I should ease into this I simply say, "I know the true happy ending to this story."

"You do?" Her eyes glittering with wonder. I take her hand in mine, squeezing it tenderly and nod.

"It's you, you're the happy ending." At this she just gives me a puzzled look and I smile woefully. I can't tell her everything but I guess it was time to begin to tell her the story of who she is.

"I think you are big enough to be told a secret, something only we can know about." At this she has my full attention again and she presses her lips together and gives me a sharp nod.

"The story I just read isn't just a fairy tale, it's real but it's been told wrong. I want to tell you the real story of Snow White and Prince Charming and I want you to know that they had a baby – the most beautiful baby in all the lands and they were so overjoyed to have her. It was the happiest moment of their lives. They swore to always love and protect her against all evil." I was crying now, choking on my own words, allowing myself to remember that day. Emma scooted closer to me and put her arm around my neck comforting me. I let out a ragged breath and press my forehead against hers. "And that baby is you Emma."

"Really?" I hear her whisper.

"Yes sweetheart, you are my little princess." I place a soft kiss on her head and a tear drops from the corner of my eye.

Emma is quiet for a couple of minutes before she softly asks, "Where's papa?" This makes my heart ache because there's just no easy way to tell her and I'm not ready.

"The Queen cast a curse… your father saved us by sending you and me to safety… I… I … don't know where he is." I stutter.

Emma pulls back and sits up in the bed, "We have to find him! We have to make the ending happy."

"Oh honey," I smile through my tears. "It's not that easy, we have to wait a long time before the curse can be broken….and…" I have to stop there because at her age she doesn't have the understanding of time, she just needs reassurance. "Yeah, we'll find him – together!" I pull her into a tight hug making her giggle.

"But don't you worry about it sweetie." Still hugging her I lay her down, "Now it's time for my little princess to sleep."

"Noo!" She whines into my hair, refusing to let me go. "You promised to tell me the true story."

"It's a very long story sweetheart and I told you some of it, I'll tell you a little more tomorrow night okay." I reluctantly wriggle myself out of her arms and I pull the covers over her, tucking her in. "You're the most important part of the story and I count my blessings every day being here with you, I love you Emma."

"I love you too mama." She says with a big yawn, and I bend over to give her a tender kiss on the cheek. "Sleep well my love," I whisper in her ear.

* * *

I close the door behind me and make my way to the couch where I exhausted sink into the cushions, it's been SUCH a long day. I'm utterly spent. I glance at the clock on the kitchen wall and am a little taken aback by how late it was. Emma was lucky it was Friday because getting her up for day care would've been more or less impossible. At that thought I realize that if Emma is sleeping in so will I, now all I have to do is get off this couch and bru…

A tentative knock on the door interrupts my thoughts and for a second I actually wonder who it might be which is ridiculous really, as I hear Sophie's voice calling out to me quietly.

"Mary... Are you there?"

She sounded so far away and I really wished I could just go to sleep and deal with this tomorrow, but putting it off is just going to make it worse, so I sigh deeply and stand up to go open the door.

I see Sophie as she walks off towards the stairs. "Hey, I'm here," I say and she turns around looking crestfallen. I try to give her a reassuring smile but not sure if she notices since she seems to be looking mostly at the floor. I tell her to come in and she does but stays standing just inside the apartment.

"Look Sophie. I'm tired so I'll be quick and straightforward. I'm disappointed in you, at what I saw you do, I never in a million years imagined you could do that to me OR to Emma. You broke my trust and I really wish you hadn't because you mean so much to me and Emma, I need you to promise me to NEVER hit my child again."

With this she comes closer, taking my hands in hers and looks at me with sincere eyes. "I won't. I'm sorry, so so sorry! ... I… I just got so mad in that moment…" She confesses and lowers her eyes again.

"Hey! Look at me. What happened? Emma said she broke a cup, is that right?"

"It was my mothers. It was one of the few things I have left of her… she died when I was five. It was a mother's day gift from my dad and I from when I was a baby. My dad had used my fingerprints to make tiny hearts and to spell 'mommy' on it… She used that cup every morning, drinking her tea telling me it was her favourite thing she'd ever gotten."

Tears were welling up and she cleared her throat in an effort to keep it from constricting.

"Oh I'm so sorry," I say as I comfortingly stroke her arm, not entirely sure what to say because suddenly I can sympathize with her.

"It was an accident and my emotions got the better of me and I am sorry. I just wanted to clear the air. I couldn't sleep leaving things like we did earlier." She says relaxing her shoulders like a weight had been lifted from them.

"Is Emma okay?" Clearly worried, looking over my shoulder in the direction of Emma's room.

"Yeah, she's fine… But you need to talk to her she was really upset and sorry about what she did."

"I will," she says with a tentative smile. "Are we okay?"

"Yes of course," I tell her and give her a hug, which she returns in full.

"I'm sorry too. I don't think running out on you like that was the best idea, maybe we should've talked then and there."

"No you reacted like any good mother, you thought of your child first."

* * *

Coming from the bathroom I sneak into Emma's room, as I do every night, to check on her. I find her on her tummy with an arm and a leg hanging off the side of the bed. I stifle a laugh and walk over to her thinking this is why sleeping with her some nights makes it really hard for me to get a restful sleep since she is like all over the place. There are countless times that I've woken up with a foot landing on my face.

I lift her up noticing that she's a little cold and carefully slide her towards the other end of the bed, closer to the wall, thinking that will prevent her from falling out of bed. Her covers were on the floor so I pick them up and tuck her in a second time. I sit and watch her sleep, another thing I can't help doing. She's growing up so fast and even though it warms my heart to watch her grow it worries me that her innocence is going to fade away, little by little. Tonight was the start of her learning about her past and soon she'll know what that means for her future.

'Maybe I'll just sleep here tonight, I don't care if she slaps a hand in my face at four in the morning' I think and slink under the covers next to her curling up in the small bed, wrapping my arm around her tiny waist, holding her close to my heart.

**Thanks again for reading **** Please review – if you haven't abandoned me by now, which I wouldn't blame you for.**

**But yeah – any questions and comments just tell me okay! I know this wasn't my strongest chapter or the best but it has it's sweet moments :P**

**My next chapter might end in a cliffhanger. I will try my best to post it sooner this time, I don't mind you reminding me btw - poke me!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello dearies! Sorry again for the late update. Thank you so much for your reviews!**

**This chapter has gone through a few versions and it took a while to filter through the better ideas from the bad ones. The grammar is probably wanting in places (*reminder that English isn't my native language and I don't have a beta;)  
I'm trying something new, perspective wise, trying to see things from Emma's POV – not sure how well I did with that so be sure to comment on how I could make it better etc.**

**Please enjoy :D!**

* * *

Chapter 7

"Please sit still Emma"

"Are you finished soon?" she asks impatiently.

It was Lana's 5th birthday and we were invited to a birthday party in the park, Emma had been looking forward to this for weeks because Lana's father was a wealthy man and he loved going above and beyond for his daughter, so her birthdays were always a big success.

Its late summer but the heat still lingered, the autumn chill had not yet arrived, so it was perfect for the outfit she'd picked out earlier this week. The invite had said casual since it was an outdoors event and Emma had chosen a pair of bright red bib-and-brace shorts and a white t-shirt. Almost five years old and already a tomboy, Charming would be thrilled to know this.

"If you stop moving your head it would go faster," I say having to adjust her position again with my hands.

I was braiding her hair, which she usually loves - as do I, it's one of those wonderful mother daughter moments I've always dreamed of sharing with my daughter – but right now with the excitement running though my little girls veins I was having none of it.

"Sit. Still. Emma!" I tell her more strictly this time.

"Okay, okay."

I had decided to do a Dutch side braid, one of my favourites, it was just a little tricky with Emma's thick layered locks and baby hairs sticking out here and there but the end result is beautiful and she looked so precious. She didn't have bangs but there were whisks of baby hairs framing her face and she looked so alive and well, her smile lighting up the room.

"Thanks mama. Can we go now?" She asks bouncing up and down on the couch next to me.

"Sure baby," I say smiling and cupping her cheeks with my hands. "I'll get our stuff together and you can go up to Sophie and ask if she and Maverick want to come with us right away or if they'll meet us in the park later."

"Yeah okay!" She bolted to and through the door and I could hear her eager footsteps on the stairs followed by a thump and an 'Ouch!'

"You okay Emma!" I ask with a raised worried voice about to go and check on her but she just shouts back that it's nothing and all I manage to see were her red sneakers disappearing at the top of the stairs. I just shake my head as I close the door after her 'She must really be excited for this party for her to brush off a fall like that'.

* * *

Emma could feel the throbbing ache in her knee from the fall but she bit back her tears and took a deep breath, she did feel the urge to go back down and have her mother soothe her hurt but that would mean it would take them longer to get to the park and she really wanted to go as soon as possible. So she says it's nothing and leaps up another set of stairs, bounding into Sophie's apartment where Maverick runs up to her, licking her face and wagging his tail.

"Hey boy!" she giggles while she scratches his ears.

"Hi Emma," Sophie says with a bright smile. "Oh look at you beautiful! All set to go to the party huh? Your mom did wonders with your hair. I need her to teach me how to do that."

"We're going to the park now. Mama wanted me to ask if you wanted to come with us now or later."

Sophie walks up to her and kneels down in front of her, prying away the over joyed dog from Emma's face. The bond between Maverick and Emma went far and beyond the closeness between him and Sophie, they simply couldn't get enough of each other.

"I can't come right now so I'll meet you later, but you guys can take Maverick with you now if you'd like."

"Really!? Can I hold the leash?" Emma asks happily. She'd never gotten to do that before, they always tell her she's too small and Maverick's too big.

"Yeah, I think you're big enough now. But if he gets to be too much for you you'll tell your mother okay?" Sophie grabs the leash from a coat hanger next to the door and attach it to his collar, then hands it to Emma who grabs it firmly in both hands as if she'd never let go, suddenly serious being handed the responsibility.

"I will. I promise Sophie," she says and goes to give Sophie a quick hug. "Thank you! And don't take too long okay."

"Don't worry I'll be right behind you." She tells her as she gives the little girl a squeeze before letting her go. She notices the scrape on Emma's knee and the small trickle of blood emerging from it.

"Oh, what happened here?" she asks.

"I fell on the stairs. It doesn't hurt anymore." Emma says with a shrug, even though it's still throbbing.

"Let me put a band aid on it before you go," she says and goes to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.

"Hurry!" I want to get there before Robbie does. I want to be the first one to give Lana her present.

"Alright alright darling," Sophie laughs running back to Emma. She wipes away the blood with a cotton swab and puts the band aid on.

"There! Off you go. Hold on tight to that leash, especially on the street okay?"

"Yep! Thanks Sophie, see you there." Emma says over her shoulder as she and Maverick makes their way out the door.

* * *

Emma looked so proud and delighted over her dog walking skills. I kept a careful eye on her all the way down the street just in case but she handled that dog better than any of us grownups. Children and animals get each other better though and I could see that Maverick knew he had to behave and even protect Emma on this busy street.

"So honey, why do you want to be the first to give Lana her present?"

Emma looked straight ahead, not taking her eyes off her duty. We'd arrived at a crossing and she tugged on the leash to stop Maverick at the red light. He sat down at once, glancing back at Emma with a grin on his face.

Emma then looks up at me and answers.

"Because I'm her best friend and that's what best friends do. Friends give friends presents as soon as possible so that they don't have to wait long to get it. Waiting is the worst."

I sensed something else being behind this statement but the light turned green and we had to cross the street. After the crossing there was a short walk and then the entrance to the park. Emma picked up her pace and almost started running when she saw the balloons tied to the trees. Maverick picked up on her excitement and started bouncing beside her. Then I see a fenced in area and three ponies tied to a pole. Then goats and pigs and geese, apparently Lana's father had conjured up a petting zoo themed party, it looked absolutely amazing.

"I see Lana mama! Can you take Maverick so I can run over to her?"

"Yes of course. Here, don't forget her gift." Emma almost rips it out of my hands as she thrusts the leash to me.

I could see we were the first ones there because people were still setting up tables and tents for different activities. Lana was by the ponies of course, petting their noses and as soon as she saw Emma her face lit up and ran to meet her. 'Happy Birthday Lana' I could hear Emma tell her as she gave her the gift.

I'd asked Emma what Lana wanted for her birthday or what she liked in general, and she'd said Lana already had everything she wanted so she didn't know. But she liked to draw an awful lot so I had just picked out some children's art supplies, which you can never really get enough of, but Emma also wanted to make her friend something. She'd obviously picked up that tendency from me, the very thought made me smile, and she had made her a necklace and a bracelet. She had spent most part of the evening picking out and threading the prettiest beads on a string. She'd even spelled out Lana with beads that had letters on them. I was so proud of her then, the kindness in her heart warmed my own and I felt, like so many times before, that she was something special.

Now I see Lana opening Emma's gift, pulling out the necklace and the bracelet, she throws her arms around Emma and yells 'Thank You! They are so pretty, did you make them yourself?' 'Yeah, but mama helped me tie the knots, here let me help you' Emma says and helps her put on the necklace. 'You want to pet the ponies?' Lana asks and takes Emma's hand pulling her with her.

* * *

Sophie joined us by the time the cake was being served and she came to sit with me and Maverick on the very same bench we'd had that winter pic-nick.

"Hey, how's the cake?"

"It's good you should get a piece before there's none left." I say glancing up from my plate to give her a welcoming smile.

"I'll pass." She says and looks over her shoulder to where the other parents are standing by the tables talking amongst each other. I follow her gaze and can already guess what she'd say next.

"Why aren't you over there cackling with the rest of them? I know you're not shy." Sophie asks jokingly, jabbing me in the arm.

"I was, but Robbie's mother started talking about her husband going out of town on business and how Robbie had been in tears last night when he left… and I started thinking about how Emma keeps asking me if we could go look for her father. It's almost every night now and I'm running out of excuses or reasons as to why we can't. Then I got mad at Robbie's mother and even little Robbie because at least they have a husband and a father to say goodbye to and then welcome back home when he returns. So yeah, I bummed myself out, and now I'm eating this chocolate cake to try and take my mind off it."

Sophie looks a little taken aback, she probably hadn't thought it would be a big issue asking me why I was by myself and even though she's no stranger to the topic it's still not something I talk about with her that often.

"I'm only asking because you brought it up, but why can't you go look for him? It's been nearly five years perhaps it's safe to go back where you came from?"

I see Emma sitting in front of the puppet show with the other children, laughing. I take a shaky breath…

"I don't know where he is, I've told you that before and I wasn't lying then and I'm not now. He really is lost to us. I haven't lost hope though, I know I'll see him again but I can't just pick up and leave with Emma on a wild goose chase, she needs stability and a home and safety, and what I fear most is the disappointment all the times she'll get her hopes up just to find another dead end… ugh!" I lean forward to put my elbows on my knees and my chin in my hands, looking out at the calm water in the pond.

Sophiepurses her lips and squint her eyes slightly, thinking.

"You know. We have been talking about taking that road trip along the coast next summer, before we go to the cabin. What if you tell Emma that that could be your first look out? I know you said you didn't want to get her hopes up but maybe she needs to feel like she's at least trying… I don't think it could do much harm, no more than her feeling like she isn't doing everything that she can to find her dad. Perhaps it'll be beneficial for her to put things in perspective?"

I sit quietly for a minute battling my fears but I couldn't help feeling an inkling of hope at the idea and it felt good to have something to look forward to even if I knew I had to stay realistic. '_We've got to have faith Snow' _Charming's voice echoes in my head.

"Baby steps then?"

"Yeah," Sophie confirms encouragingly.

"SOPHIE!"

Sophie snaps her head around and sees Emma galloping towards her. "You came!" she says breathless and jumps up in her lap.

"I told you I would, don't act so surprised little monkey." Sophie says tickling her sides, making Emma squirm with laughter.

"Are you having a good time?"

"Oh yes! The puppets were really funny." She says beaming.

"It's time to ride the ponies now mama, they told us to get our parents to help us." She jumps off Sophie's lap and grabs my hand, tugging me off the bench. Emma was a very energetic little girl but it seemed like she was made of springs and fire crackers today as she literally couldn't stop bouncing up and down. I picked her up and hoisted her up in the air in one swift move and Emma squealed with joy, then I hugged her close as I swung her back and forth.

"Mama!" She giggles, "Not too tight."

"Don't you know that the tightest hugs are the loveliest,because it's proof that love takes our breath away?"

I nuzzle her neck and breathe in her soft sweet scent. "Mmmmm! You smell delicious I could just eat you up. Nom, nom, nom…" Emma erupts in more laughter and begs me to stop being so silly, the ponies are waiting.

* * *

Emma wanted to grab the reins and do everything on her own, but the pony man wouldn't let her. He wouldn't let go of the reins and he said they couldn't go any faster. Her mother didn't look too happy with him either because she saw her eyebrows knit together, like they do when she's annoyed, but she was telling Emma that she was doing great and stayed by her side all the way around pen. At first she'd put a hand on her back but Emma told her she didn't need it, she could do it on her own.

"I know you can honey, I was doing it for my sake you know how I worry sometimes." She says smiling at Emma.

She didn't get many turns around pen until the pony man said it was enough and Emma was having none of it, telling him that there wasn't even a line and there was even another pony that wasn't being ridden at the moment. She could very well ride a little while longer.

"The ponies have been working all day, they are getting tired." The man argues with her.

"They can't be tired already they have only been walking for a little while." Emma counters adamantly.

The man goes to lift Emma off of the pony and she lets out a shriek that made the pony jump slightly.

"Hey! Let her go!" Snow raises her voice towards the man and grabs Emma from the other side, pulling her off the pony and placing her on her hip.

"Have you no sense at all with children... or animals for that matter? You should know that forcing any of the two won't end well." Snow gives the man a cold glare before she makes her way out of pen. Emma looks back at the man over Snow's shoulder jutting out her tongue to him and she sees the colour in his face go bright red.

"You were right to question that man because he really wasn't being all that fair, but Emma you can't scare the pony like that. You're lucky that it was an older and more experienced pony that is used to children otherwise it could have kicked out or done something to throw you off."

Emma shifts her eyes downwards and nods. "Sorry mama."

"It's okay baby, I should've told you before I put you on that horse, since I know exactly who I was dealing with." Snow says teasinglylifting up Emma's chin so she could look her in the eye and let her know she wasn't mad.

"I promise I'll take you riding at a proper place, where I can be the one teaching you."

Emma's face lights up again, "You promise? For real?"

"Yes, it's a promise. I think we should be getting home soon, you should go say goodbye to Lana while I go say goodbye to her mother. I see Sophie over there talking with her already."

"Do we have to?" Emma pleads half-heartedly. She was getting pretty tired so she didn't really mind.

"Yep, come over to me and Sophie when you're ready okay." She instructs her daughter, putting her down on the ground. Emma simply nods and saunters off to the puppet tent where Lana was standing saying goodbye to some other guest.

Snow watches her for a minute to make sure Emma stays on course. It wouldn't surprise her if something else caught her daughters' attention making her forget what she was supposed to do, but not this time. Snow smiles, turns around and walks in the other direction towards the group of women by the gift table.

* * *

Lana looks up at Emma when she sees her coming, dropping her shoulders.

"Do you have to go already?" She asks sadly. "I don't want my party to be over so soon."

"I know, but it's been really fun. I wish I could have a party like this on my birthday too." Emma says longingly. "I bet if I had magic I could make anything happen, then I could find my dad and he could give me my own pony that I could ride all day long." Emma forgot that she wasn't supposed to talk about mama's secret about her father being a lost prince but Lana seemed to be quite used to Emma's wild imagination and only laughed and agreed.

"We could go on adventures together every day." Lana adds laughingly.

"Lana!" Her mother calls. "Come say goodbye to your cousins!"

Lana sighs, not being particularly fond of her cousins. "Okay, coming!" She yells back.

"See you later Emma, thank you for the necklace and the bracelet they are my favourite presents." She places a hand on her chest where the necklace lays and smiles at Emma before she turns and walks off.

Emma sees her mother and Sophie still talking and was thinking if she should go over there right away or if she could go pet the ponies one last time, but before she could decide she hears a whistle behind her. It's coming from behind the tent and she goes to look around the corner. It was a man smiling big and Emma smiles back. He had ice blue eyes and dark blonde hair and he was waving at her to come closer, she wasn't sure if she should…

"Did I hear you talk about magic?" He stage whispers and Emma takes a couple steps forward.

"Yes." She says tentatively.

"So you believe in magic then?" He asks.

Emma nods enthusiastically, but doesn't go any closer.

"Well I know some magic and I thought maybe you would want to see it. We have to do it in secret though because magic has to be kept secret from those who don't believe." He explains with another wave, begging her to come closer.

"Could you teach me magic too?" Emma asks walking slowly towards the man. He didn't look dangerous maybe he could teach her a spell to find her father.

"Oh yes, it's easy to learn as long as you believe." He's now crouching down to her level as she's coming closer, standing right in front of him.

"What are you doing here at the party?" Emma asks, she hadn't seen him before and thought it was weird for him to just show up.

"I was the one doing the puppet show so you couldn't see me because I was behind the curtains." He says pointing behind him where there was a back entrance to the tent.

"You were really funny." Emma says with a smile.

"Thank you. What is your name?"

"Emma"

"My name is Jimmy." He holds out his hand for a handshake and Emma gives him her hand.

"Pleasure to meet you Emma, now if you want me to teach you magic we need to go behind those trees and bushes over there. We wouldn't want people seeing the sparks flying around." He says with a wink.

"There will be sparks?!" Emma asks amazed.

"Well of course, there's no doing magic without some sparks." He held out his hand for Emma to take and she gives him her hand. The hand felt clammy and cold.

They were just around the first bushes and Emma couldn't see the tent or anything anymore and she started to feel anxious, she'd promised her mother she'd go to her and Sophie right after she'd said goodbye to Lana. Emma stopped walking and she felt the man tug at her arm and then look behind him to see why she'd stopped.

"What is it?" He asks. His tone of voice was different. The kindness was gone and replaced with something Emma didn't recognize.

"I should tell mama where I'm going. Maybe she can come with us? She believes in magic too and she's really nice, she wouldn't tell on you." Emma explains.

"But this won't take long, we're almost there Emma don't be silly." He says patronizingly.

"No! I don't want to anymore. I want my mama to come too." She says raising her voice defiantly.

"Don't take that tone with me missy, I'm doing you a favour here so be good now and come with me."

The man was losing his patience and increased his pressure on Emma's hand and started walking again, dragging Emma behind him.

"You're hurting me!" She yells.

It happened so fast, he turned around so quickly and then his hand flew out and hit her across the side of her head making her ear ring loudly. Her head snapped to the side and she bit her lip. She could taste blood and she felt it trickle down her chin.

"Quiet!" He hisses between his teeth. Eyes full of rage.

Emma looked at him wide eyed and scared, tears began pooling and started falling silently down her cheeks. Tiny whimpers made their way through her mouth. He'd let go of her hand and she started walking backwards.

"Oh no, you're not going anywhere!" He says angrily.

Emma turns to run and nearly makes it past that first bush they'd passed before he grabs her hair, ripping lose her braid. Knuckles pressed against the back of her head as he tightens his grip. Emma lets out a loud scream but it is cut off by the man's other hand clamping over her mouth. He then grabs her under his arm and starts running through the trees.

Emma can't breathe with his hand over her mouth and she starts to feel dizzy and all she sees is the forest floor all in a blur before she passes out.

* * *

**A/N: So this is my first cliffhanger and I hope it's a decent one.**

**Please review! They really keep me motivated when my insecurities kick in and all I see is an empty page. **

**And if you want to give me hints or whatnot as to what could happen in the next chapter please let me know**

**You guys are awesome!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: As usual thank you for your follows favs and reviews – means the world to me!**

_**I HAVE TO PUT A **__******TRIGGER WARNING******__** ON THIS CHAPTER**_**  
... it's not too explicit but it's a touchy subject for some and you need a fair warning. There is some bad language and violence.**

**It was easy to write because it was easy to imagine, if that makes sense. It was kind of exciting too – writing drama is fun even if the events are horrible.**

**I sure hope you all like it!**

**I own nothing ofc**

* * *

Chapter 8

My head jerked up and around. There was a scream and I knew instinctively whose it was, it was Emma. It gave me chills down my spine and I grew cold. My eyes searched the place where I'd last seen her but there was nothing there. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead and neck, my breathing quickened, panic was settling in and I couldn't move.

Maverick barked loudly making me jump.

"Hey what is it boy?" Sophie addresses the dog who was all agitated all of the sudden, trying to pull away and stretching the leash for all he was worth.

"Hey! Maverick what's wrong?" Sophie tries to tug him back whilst struggling to keep standing in the same spot.

"D..d…did you hear that?" I stammer, finally finding my words.

"What?" Sophie asks bewildered. "No, what did you hear?"

"There was a scream. I… I think it was Emma, it sounded like Emma." Worry lacing my voice. "I can't see her anymore."

I started walking towards the tent where I'd last seen her with Lana. That walk soon turned into a sprint and I hear shuffling and panting behind me indicating that Sophie and Maverick was close behind me.

"Slow down boy, you're going to make me fall on my face." Sophie grunts behind me.

We reach the tent, I look inside and around it and I scan the whole area frantically.

"EMMA!?... EMMA! Where are you!" I Shout. Inside I was pleading 'Please be playing hide and seek! Please be hiding. Please jump out and say it was all a game… please dear gods make her jump out and run into my arms saying she was only playing'

I was nearly crying now. I was wiping wetness out my eyes because they made my vision blurry and I couldn't see. I CAN'T SEE HER!

Sophie noticed my distress and tried to calm me down. "I'm sure she's here somewhere, you know how she likes to explore…"

"No, no, it's not like that. You didn't hear that scream. Something happened. We need to find her!"

"Okay, okay Mary. Let me go back and ask the others to help us look. It'll be alright." She says rubbing my arm.

"Here, you take Maverick he'll help you out." She hands me the leash. "Oh and wait…. this is from this morning from when she fell on the stairs, not sure why I put it in my pocket but… it has Emma's scent on it. Have Maverick smell it and maybe he could sniff her out, he is a hunting dog after all." Sophie puts the wad of bloodied cotton in the palm of my hand and I shed fresh tears.

Maverick looks up at me expectantly, nudging my leg as if to say 'what are you waiting for?' and I kneel down.

"Here boy it's Emma. Emma, we need to find her." He stops fidgeting and focuses on the tiny swab in my hand. His ears perk up at Emma's name.

"Find Emma Maverick."

It's been at least five minutes since I heard that scream, maybe longer. Time was running out, I could feel it.

"Please Maverick. EMMA!"

He put his nose to the ground and it looked like he was searching for something, he froze when he came across the edge of the tent and then picked up speed and led me behind the tent. He stopped for a while at the back, but continued on steadily after that. We were heading up a slight incline and there were thick bushes on the left. My heart was lodged in my throat and my mouth was dry.

Maverick stops a second time and this time he barks and looks back at me barking again. Then he paws at the ground and the leaves on the forest floor. I bend over to have a closer look and I swear that my heart stopped beating altogether and I started shaking. There was blood, not a lot but a noticeable amount, fear took hold of me then and I search the area for more clues and I see evidence of a struggle.

"Maverick GO!" I say firmly albeit a little shaky. He doesn't hesitate and starts running further into the trees sensing theurgency.

* * *

The man stops running, he'd scouted out this part of the park before and he knew few people ventured in this area. There was a lot of shrubbery and he felt sure he'd be out of sight. He looks behind him to make sure he hadn't been noticed, he'd been worried that someone had heard Emma scream but that seemed very unlikely.

His urges had been bothering him for months, the sinful thoughts eating at his brain again. He tried his best to ignore them but they kept coming back. Last time he lapsed was back in October last year, a little brown eyed girl with red hair named Molly. She had been playing outside her apartment building and he'd lured her over the street and into an alley, no one noticed a thing. They had found her there behind the dumpsters the next morning.

He looks down at Emma hanging limp under his arm, unconscious, good, he hated the part where they struggle. He likes them subdued, at least until they are far away from possible peering eyes.

He lays her down on her back, removing her now loose locks from her face. She looked like a precious doll and he was starting to get excited. He relished in the sight of her, and his sick twisted mind thought that the blood smear on her chin was a nice touch.

Kneeling beside her he rubs his hands together and reaches for the buckles to unstrap her bib-and-brace shorts. His hands are shaking a little pulling them off and he takes a breath to steady himself not to rush it, he wants to savour this. He leans over, his face inches from hers, his breath brushing over her cheeks.

She begins to stir and he pulls a couple of hankies from his pocket, balling them up and stuffs them in her mouth. With this she wakes up fully, panic clear in her eyes as she tries to slap his hands away. He just takes both her wrists in one hand pinning them above her head as he runs his fingers over her legs with his other hand.

Muffled whimpers and cries are followed by tears trickling down the sides of her face, falling into her ears.

"S'okay Emma… you're such a pretty girl." He breathes heavily.

* * *

Emma notices the smell first, it's pungent and horrible. Someone is right beside her and she's confused, opening her eyes she remembers and gets really scared. He stuffs her mouth, the fabric tastes yucky and she feels nauseous. He was so strong, it hurts when he pins back her arms and there was nothing she could do, her little heart was beating a million beats a second and she was crying.

'Mama…. Mama… please find me' she repeats pleadingly, achingly in her mind.

His clammy hand was now on her thigh and she started to shake like a leaf, she didn't understand what was happening but it frightened her and she wished she could get away from him. He had her legs pinned too so she couldn't squirm away from his touch and his weight hurt so much she thought her bones would break.

Then there's a snap of a twig behind him and he freezes, she can't see what it is because he's in the way, but then there's a loud bark and growling. Emma knew that bark ...

* * *

Maverick never deviated from the trail, I guess it's as fresh as it could get. Running behind him I had my heart in my throat and I was covered in sweat, the thin camisole I was wearing was soaked.

I noticed someone crouching up ahead and as much as I wanted to run right up to the bastard I slowed down, Maverick started to growl a little bit and I tugged at his leash and shushed him quietly. I didn't have anything to defend myself with so I searched the ground for something… anything.

I spot a good sized rock that fit nicely in my hand and I start to sneak closer, a tight grip on the leash and the rock. I see him now, his back is turned to me and I see Emma's sneakers sticking out from under him and fury blossoms in my chest, but I have to keep it cool, just a bit further and I can get him knocked out from behind.

'Snap'

I freeze. He freezes. Maverick barks loud and clear and the man whips his head around wearing the face of a bad man being caught doing bad things. It's an evil glare and I shudder at the sight. I don't know what to say I just take another step closer, my body acting on its own wanting to get to Emma. It was rash and stupid because he takes out a knife and he pulls Emma up by her hands and I can see her fully now. THE BASTARD HAD UNDRESSED HER! I saw red and reflexively started towards him again.

He took a step back raising the knife and grabbed Emma, lifting her up with one arm, pinning her to his chest. She was facing me and her face, her sweet face was distorted in pain and she looked so frightened, her cheeks were glistening wet from crying and I could barely take it. Seeing her like that made me stop in my tracks and I started to beg.

"Please let her go. She's just a little girl." My voice shook and cracked, I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. He didn't say anything. He looked like a wild animal having been backed into a corner, absolutely desperate. And so was I, I desperately wanted him to let my baby go.

"I won't tell anyone I promise. I will let you go… just please I beg of you, let my baby go." I started sobbing mid-sentence and I could hear Emma whimper.

No reaction from the man whatsoever, I was beginning to think this would go on forever, a perpetual standstill of my worst nightmare.

Maverick had only been growling gutturally on and off since we came eye to eye with this beast but all of the sudden he lunges forward pulling me with him and I watch how the knife is now pressed against Emma's neck and she cries out. I immediately jerk Maverick back probably harder than necessary because there's a loud yelp and he cowers back to my side.

The knife has broken the skin now, I don't think the man realizes this which is worse because it shows he just doesn't care what happens to Emma she's just a means to an end for him.

Blood is running down her neck and all I can do is stand and watch. I shift my eyes to Emma's eyes and she understands, I don't know how but she does and I can tell. We just look into each-others' eyes for a minute – it seemed longer- and then she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, which must be hard the way he's holding her so tight.

Emma raises her right leg then and kicks the man for all she's worth in the groin and he doubles over and loses his grip on Emma who falls to the ground in front of him and she quickly crawls away. The man tries to grab her feet as she goes but I was aiming my rock and was hurling it at his head at that same moment, and I've always had a good aim.

It hits his temple… hard!

He topples over sideways and rolls on his back. I stay frozen in place for a second or two before I step closer and I see he's out cold, blood pouring from his head.

"Mama?" I hear Emma sobbing.

In an instant I'm on the ground next to her, running my hands all over her checking she's okay. I'm in shock and shaking. I'm not sure what I'm doing other than making sure she was really here and alive.

My hand touches her chest and then I register the amount of blood on my hand, I lean back and this time I see the whole picture. He must have made the cut deeper when he bent forward in pain because there was a huge cut just below her throat and it was bleeding quite profusely.

"Mama?" Emma says weakly, and I look up at her. Her face is so pale…

"It's alright baby, I've got you… I've got you." I say trying to hide the panic in my voice.

I take off my sweater and ball it up and press it against her neck. I have to stop this bleeding. It can't have gone through the artery because she would not be conscious still if it had been.

"Hold that for me honey, press as hard as you can okay?" I tell her as I stand up on my knees to pick her up. We have to get out of here bef….

"You BITCH!" The man growls yanking me back by the hair and I see Emma's face turn into one of fear before I see the trees and then the bright blue sky. The next thing I know he has me in a choke hold, sitting on me. I can't breathe. All I see is his raging eyes and bloody face. His spit is dripping down on me. I wriggle and I try to kick and I'm clawing at his hands but they are like an iron vice around my throat. Black spots are dancing before my eyes and I can feel myself going weightless. Emma's screams were fading away and all I was thinking was 'I'm sorry… I'm sorry' I wanted to tell her to run but I couldn't and I was just so very very sorry.

"AAAH! Fuck!" His grip loosens and I'm quick to inhale a big breath of air, which sets off a coughing fit.

I can hear growling of a different kind now and I open my eyes to see Maverick with his jaws locked on the mans' leg, hell bent on not letting it go even as the man throws punches at him. I'm scrambling to get on my feet because this might be my last window of opportunity. I reach for the same rock I threw earlier and I walk unsteadily up to this poor excuse for a man, this filthy animal that I despised and hated with every fibre of my being. He has laid his last hand on any living thing.

The man kicks Maverick and he lets out a sharp yelp and cowers away and the man turns his head but before he even lays his eyes on me I hit him in the back of the head as hard as I could. His hand flies up and shields his head but he's still conscious so I make another swipe at him. This time he lands on his face and he doesn't make another move. I make sure by kicking him and I notice the knife right next to him 'why the hell didn't I grab that earlier!' I think as I reach down and grab it, putting it in my pocket.

"Emma!" I call out. There's no answer.

She's flat on the ground and not moving. I run over to her side and I keep calling her name as I slide my arms under her limp body and hoist her up in my arms, cradling her to my chest. Her head on my shoulder, I readjust her slightly so that I hold her with one arm while I take my balled up sweater and re-apply it to her wound. It's pinned between me and her now and so her weight and my grip on her allows for pressure to be put on it. I stand up and start running or at least making my way back as fast as I could without losing my grip on her, all the while I call out to my unconscious daughter.

"Emma honey, wake up! Wake up for mama!" I was crying again and it all became a slur between sobs.

"Wake up sweetie… Ummphf!" I almost trip on a root but I regain my balance and keep going.

"Mmmm…" I hear and a flicker of joy runs through me.

"Emma? You awake sweetie? Talk to mama." I say between laboured croaky breaths.

"Mm… mama… it hurts." I can barely make out what she's saying but a fresh stream of tears trickles down my cheeks.

"I know baby. We'll make it better soon. Don't fall asleep again ok, talk to me."

"I'm so tired mama." She says weakly.

"Hey! Don't fall asleep. I know you want to but don't!" I didn't mean to take that tone with her but I desperately needed her to stay awake.

I could see someone up ahead and I could hear people calling out our names, it seems like Sophie had gotten together a small search party after all.

"HEY!" I shout with a broken voice. It's a woman who I recognize as Lana's mother, Lillian. She sees us and her hand goes up to her chest, mouth wide open. I can imagine the sight of us being a bit of a shock. We're both covered in blood and dirt. I'm half naked in just my jeans and black bra, my hair is a mess and full of leaves. Emma's only in her underwear and t shirt that is no longer white.

My knees are starting to go out and I have to stop. Lillian shouts behind her "THEY'RE HERE! PLEASE HELP!" before she runs up to me and grabs me by the arm to help me walk the last trek down the hill back to the tents. She asked once if I needed help to carry Emma but I refused, not only did I not want to let her go but I was afraid jostling her would make her bleed more and I didn't want to take pressure off her neck.

The next twenty minutes were chaotic with everyone hovering around us. Emma was fighting off unconsciousness but the activity going on around us perked her up a bit and she was clinging to me now, one arm around my neck and the other under and around my back. I could feel her fingers digging into my skin and she had one fist balled up in my hair.

They had me sit down and I tried answering their questions but all I could coherently get out was that there was a man who had taken Emma and that we'd had a struggle.

"Um… I knocked him out cold I think, he… he should still be there. Maverick could lead you to him… Maverick!? Where is he?" I look at Sophie who's right next to me. She shoots me another worried look frankly she's had that same look on her face ever since we got back. It was freaking me out a little.

"I thought he'd come after us, you have to go look for him." I instruct her. She nods and says she will as soon as the police and ambulance arrives.

* * *

At the emergency room… again! It brought back unpleasant memories but this time they allowed me to be with Emma all the way. She was awake and crying. I stayed beside her every second holding her hand and smoothed back her hair from her forehead and wiping away her tears as they fell.

The doctor came in to have a closer look. The bleeding had more or less stopped on the way to the hospital. He gently removed the temporary gauze and Emma whimpered but stayed very still.

"You are very brave Emma. I am so proud of you." I tell her reassuringly as the doctor examined her.

"I must say your little girl is very lucky, any deeper and…" he stops himself remembering he was with a small child. He clears his throat, "So this is pretty deep and I'll have to do two sets of stitches."

I close my eyes 'Oh Gods'

"I'll have to numb the area first and it will hurt a tiny bit." He proceeds to bring out a needle and when Emma sees it she gasps.

"Look at me baby. Look at mama!" I move her head to me so that she can't see the needle anymore.

"It'll be over soon okay. I'm right here with you and I know my brave little girl can do this. Isn't that right?" I say tearing up a bit but trying to stay strong for her. She doesn't answer me. She's actually been quiet since we were found which I believe is the shock. She's so cold too and they'd given her a couple of blankets upon arrival so she was all bundled up on the gurney. She just looks at me and my face is inches from hers as I lay my head down next to hers. My hand is still cradling her cheek. I'd completely blocked out the doctor at this point but I know when he sticks the needle in her skin because her face scrunches up in pain followed by a quiet sob and quivering lips.

"Shhh..shh… that's it, no more pain okay. The doctor is just going to patch it up now and then we can go home." Her little hand comes up to my face and now she's the one to wipe away my tears, I apparently couldn't help more tears from forming and spilling over. Her touch was so gentle and loving it was breaking my heart.

* * *

The police came to take a statement and I told them all I knew and what had happened. They wanted to ask Emma too but I told them that that had to wait for another day. They had found the man still unconscious and had brought him to this very hospital, this upset me and I stiffened in my chair but the policeman calmed me and said he was being supervised and cuffed in another ward. The man seemed to have a severe concussion and that I'd really done a number on him, that he should be lucky he's alive. In the way he was telling me this I could see how much disgust he had for him and he looked like he wished he'd been the one to hit him over the head with a rock.

* * *

Emma had conked out soon after the painkillers had kicked in. They wanted to keep her overnight for observation but I told them quite sternly that I wanted to take her home. I didn't want her to wake up here.

"Then I suggest you stay just a few more hours and then you can take her home for the night. She lost a significant amount of blood and she needs to stay in bed for a few days and if the stitches come undone or if anything else should occur please bring her in immediately. I'll book an appointment at the end of the week for a check-up."

I nodded and stuffed the prescriptions and the appointment card in my back pocket. I asked if he could make a call and let my friend know that we had to stay here a few more hours and she could come and pick us up.

"Yes of course I can. I'm really sorry this happened to you." He says with a sad smile.

"Thank you." I say dejectedly.

* * *

It was almost 9pm when we make our way through our apartment door. Sophie had offered for the millionth time that she could carry Emma but I told her it was fine. She'd informed me that Maverick had been found and was safe upstairs, he'd been hiding in a bush near the scene of the crime and had only come out when Sophie called. He was more or less unharmed but not himself, 'Yeah tell me about it' I add sarcastically to myself.

"I'll let you go home in a minute I just need a little help in the bathroom with Emma."

"Of course I'll help and don't worry about me I really don't mind being here for you." She says placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Alright, you could start running the water in the sink. I want to get the rest of this blood off and get her in her pyjamas." They'd cleaned her up a bit at the hospital but not nearly enough.

"Okay, I'm on it." She makes her way past us and I follow in a slower pace, grabbing a nightgown with bunnies on it from the hamper in the hall.

Emma drifted in and out of sleep as we tended to her but she was pretty out of it. I almost lost it when I took out the elastic in her hair. Her braid was ruined and some of the hair came out in tiny chunks when I brushed it out. I controlled my breathing and placed a kiss on her head.

Afterwards I carry her to her bed and tuck her in making it the first time I leave her side since the moment I found her. I didn't want to but I had myself to clean up as well, so I back out of the room and join Sophie in the living room.

"She's all tucked in now. It's okay for you to go home now."

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" She asks concerned.

"Yeah, we can talk more tomorrow. I just want to clean up and go to sleep and put this wretched day behind me for good."

She comes over and pulls me into a hug and I hug her back.

"You know where to find me if you need anything."

I laugh humourlessly, "Yeah I do. Thank you."

* * *

In the shower I allow my feelings to surface and I fall down on the shower floor sobbing loudly. All the pent up anger, fear and exhaustion was almost too much to handle and even though the water was steaming hot I shivered. I grabbed a sponge and began to rapidly scrub away the dried blood and the dirt. My neck was covered in blooming bruises and my voice was still hoarse and cracked.

"Charming…" I sobbed. "I can't handle this, I need you here… please!" I begged.

"Find us! I can't do this alone. I need you so damn much!" I was angry to have been left alone in this. How many times is my strength going to be tested before I break? "I just want you to be here…"

The water went cold before I could make myself crawl out of there. I wrapped myself up in my robe and twirled a towel around my hair and tip toed into Emma's bedroom and joined her under the covers. She still felt very cold so I gingerly scooted closer so that my body heat would warm her up. She stirred in my arms and muttered in her sleep, "I'm sorry mama."

I cried myself to sleep.

* * *

**OMG guys this was kind of heavy! I hope it wasn't too heavy.**

**Please REVIEW tell me what you think!**

**Do you want a chapter following this event, as in the day after for example OR should I go ahead and skip ahead a year or so? Maybe I just need to write some fluff lol**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: My story has passed 100 reviews and followers! *happy dance* xD I Love you ALL! Mwah!**

**I am terribly sorry that I'm like the worst updater ever! **

**I got a few requests telling me they'd like a day after the incident chapter and here it is :D **

**I want to give you a heads up again that updating the next chapter after this might take a while. I will get back to this story when things in my life calm down, school has to come first atm (really starting to freak out about it tbh).**

**Anyway, this chapter continues the heaviness from the previous one but it's not all dark when there's hope to be found;)**

**Enjoy my lovelies!**

* * *

Chapter 9

Emma wakes up groggy and lost and before she can register where she is the residual fear she felt before falling asleep grabs her heart and sets it racing. Emma jerks awake and her eyes fly open. There's an arm around her and she panics trying to wriggle free, but wait, this is familiar. This is comfortable, she rubs the sleep out of her eyes and sees that she's in her own bed at home and the arm holding her is her mother's. Relief washes over her and she calms down, but then there is the pain, the sudden movements of her little panic attack had caused her stitched up cut to throb and burn. Emma carefully moved her fingers over the bandage and swallowed, even this tiny gesture added to the increasing discomfort and she bit back a sob.

She looked sideways trying not to move too much and she saw her mother still sleeping but with worry and sadness written in the lines of her face. Her still damp hair escaping from underneath the towel on her head was clinging to her forehead.

"Mama" Emma whispers hoarsely while gently shaking her mother's shoulder next to her.

Her mother wakes up instantly at the sound of Emma's voice and her arm moves over so she's gripping Emma's waist as if she had to make sure she was there.

"Hi sweetheart, how are you feeling?" She asks hoarsely with a worried yet loving smile as she props up an elbow to lean on and she rubs Emma's chest softly. It felt nice and Emma has a rush of emotions of how much she loves her mother, she always made her feel safe and loved and she'd rescued her, she'd saved her from that awful man. Emma felt like she'd never needed her mother more and so she smiled with teary eyes and placed her hands on top of her mother's that lay on her belly.

"Thank you mama for saving me" Her voice laced with genuine loving gratitude.

Her mother mirrored Emma's teary smile and cupped her cheek, the palm of her hand was soft and warm against her skin and then she leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Always" She whispers venerably. Emma can feel the motion of her mother's lips forming the word and the warm tickle of her breath on her skin. Emma wrapped her arms around her then because even if she was in pain she needed her mother's comfort too much to care.

* * *

Sleep had been restless with repeated dreams of losing Emma to that man, she'd woken up several times during the night with her heart trying to beat its way out of her chest but it soon settled once Snow knew it had only been a dream. So it wasn't surprising that Emma's soft voice woke her instantly.

She mumbled sweet affections in her daughter's blonde curls as Emma's arms encircled her neck. She pulled her up against her chest as she shifted to a half sitting position, and she felt like she never wanted to let her go, to always hold her close, and her memories flashed back to when they'd gone through the wardrobe and how infant Emma had been curled up under her chin just like this, skin to skin…

"I love you Mama… I love you very much."

My breath catches and tears burn in my eyes and I hold her just a little tighter.

"I love you too Emma. More than my own life" I say trying to control the emotion in my voice.

She leans back in my arms then and looks at me with watery blue-green eyes, they'd changed. I saw the loss of innocence in them and she looked like she'd aged a thousand years. It saddened me terribly to see that my child would no longer be the same carefree little girl she'd been not a day past, but at the same time I saw strength unlike any other and it made me proud to see she'd not been broken, it gave me hope and reassurance that she'd grow up to be strong, compassionate and brave.

I smiled at her and her eyes softened a bit returning the smile but it looked a little strained and it hit me that the drugs must've worn off and that she probably was in pain.

"Does it hurt?" I ask, my hand hovering by her neck while the other brushes its fingers across her cheek.

"Yes" she answers simply followed by a tiny whimper. She was trying not to cry. Her fists were grabbing my robe, knuckles white from her tight grip.

"I'm sorry sweetheart I'll go get something for the pain and a glass of water."

I untangle the damp towel, removing it from my head letting my long locks fall over my shoulders and then I gently slide her sideways off my lap so that I could manoeuvre out of bed, thinking she should stay in bed but she didn't loosen her grip on me.

"Don't leave me" she begs with eyes growing wide with fright.

"I need to get you your medicine, I will be right back" I say sitting back down on the edge of the bed, I reach out and stroke her forehead. She still feels cold to the touch.

"Let me tuck you in so you don't get too cold. I won't be gone long."

She shakes her head forgetting her stitches and winces in pain and she lets out a shuddering sob.

"Take me with you" she begs further and I can't take seeing her like this so I grab the comforter and wrap it around her shoulders, bundling her up before I pick her up into my arms and she rests her forehead on my shoulder sniffling.

I carry her to the kitchen and grab the pharmacy bag off the counter and I grab a glass from the dish rack by the sink.

"Do you want juice? Do you want some breakfast?"

Shaking her head slightly she says, "Just juice"

"Juice it is"

We settle down on the sofa where I dose out the Paracetamol syrup, which makes her face distort into disgust. She quickly reaches for the glass of juice gulping it down.

* * *

She didn't allow me to leave her alone, she clung to me whenever I moved away to get something, so I brought her with me everywhere. We went to the bathroom together and got dressed together, never once did she let more than three inches get between us. After a while it got quiet, the way two people do in the aftermath of shared tragedy, thoughts blank but tinged with something dark. We needed something to distract us, and I wasn't usually keen on watching TV – the whole thing still baffled me, it was unnatural and reminded me of magic mirrors – but Emma loved it. Therefore I decided that a visit upstairs would be a great way to get both our minds off of what we've become; empty and scarred.

* * *

"Hi there" Sophie greets us with a sympathetic smile. I wished she didn't do that. For as much I'd like to indulge in self-pity I believe it's better if we keep away from dragging out the bad, perhaps it's from my own experiences and the desire and need to stay strong and look forward.

"It would be really nice Sophie if we could try to act as much as possible like we normally would. Do you think you can do that" I ask, not being rude in any way.

"I mean…" I start, trying to clarify what I meant.

"I got it. No sad eyes, no pity, no sympathetic tone. Only the bare minimum because let's face it we can't hold it all back, but the less the better" she says in complete understanding and morph her concerned features into that of a normal happy 'Oh how lovely you're here, please come in' greeting.

She goes on to lean over to Emma, who's got her chin supported on my shoulder faced the other way, and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hello darling, I'm sorry you're not feeling well" she says in the same manner she would have if it had only been a scraped knee, just like she had yesterday.

"Maverick is feeling a little out of sorts too so I know he will be happy to have some company and make him feel a little better."

I mouth a 'Thank You' to Sophie and she just nods as if to say of course.

Maverick was lying on the sofa and he lifted his head at the sight of us entering the living room, tail wagging slightly but not at all like he usually does.

"You got here just in time, I think there's a cartoon movie that just started" Sophie says changing the channel on the tv. There were a bunch of mice seasick on a ship in a storm and they looked miserable, my thought was 'couldn't it be a more cheerful movie maybe we should find her something else to watch' but somehow the idea of having her watch something with bright colours and happy characters felt way worse, so I let it be.

I'd set Emma down next to Maverick and without any words they curled up against each other. Maverick adjusted his position so that his head was now on Emma's lap, resting above the covers she was bundled under and Emma pulled an arm from underneath and slowly stroked his head and back.

With Maverick by her side she didn't cling to me as much, she'd let go of my sweater as I'd put her down. When I said I was going over to talk to Sophie in the kitchen she froze and gave me a panicked look, swallowing hard but then she gave me the tiniest of nods and her mouth even twitched up into a little smile before she shifted her attention back to the movie.

* * *

The pain wasn't completely gone but it wasn't that bad, the worst part was that it was a constant reminder. Every time she closed her eyes or when she does something that pulls at her stitches making the pain flare up for a second her mind flashes back to him holding her tight and the prick at her neck when the knife cuts her.

The only thing that could take some of it away was being close to her mother, the closer the better. Nothing can compare to the safety of her mother's arms, so she clung to her, she clung to her like her life depended on it.

It made her all kinds of anxious when her mother said she'd go talk with Sophie in the kitchen, but now she also had Maverick to lean on, he too gave her a sense of safety and so she decided she could handle it, but that didn't stop her from glancing over to the kitchen every other minute to catch a glimpse of her mother moving around the kitchen. She could see most of what they were doing because there was no door. By the smell of things they were baking something while chatting. She heard words and fractured sentences that indicated that they were talking about 'the bad thing'. Emma decided to focus on the family of mice that had just arrived in America instead.

The little mouse Feivel had been separated from his family and he was sad, they were all sad. His family had each other but Feivel was all alone, what if papa was lost like him too and that he was out looking for us, I sure wished papa would come and find me… but I hadn't really thought about how big the world is and I think I was starting to understand what mama has been telling me, that it isn't easy when we don't know where he is and him not knowing where we are. I suddenly felt very very small and now my heart ached more than anything else.

I cried silent tears. I didn't want anyone to notice so I just wiped them away one by one as they fell. The bad man had promised to help me and I had been stupid to believe him and I was angry at myself, I was just a little girl I couldn't do anything not even help my own family.

* * *

I watched Sophie take out the chocolate muffins from the oven as I opened the freezer to get the ice cream. It had been nice to shut off my thoughts and just work with my hands for a little while. Of course Sophie had asked a couple of questions like if I'd heard from the police and if we'd gotten through the night okay? I answered rather briefly and monotonously that no we hadn't heard anything, and that we'd managed as expected, but other than that we stuck with the basic 'where do you keep the sugar?' talk. I felt like I was behaving rudely but if Sophie minded I couldn't tell, she discussed her lesson plans and which kids in her class had impressed her with their assignments, I suspect it was her way to distract me and I was grateful for that.

"There! Hot out of the oven. Now we cut them up in halves and dish them out with a little ice cream, then the ice cream will melt a little and yum!" Sophie says.

A moment later we walk into the living room setting down the plates and glasses on the coffee table. I notice that Emma's eyes are a little red and the very sight hurts.

"What is it sweetie? Are you in pain?"

"No, he can't find his family." Emma says quietly not looking at me. I can tell she's trying not to cry anymore placing a mask on her face… I recognize that mask and it's another weight on my shoulders understanding where it comes from.

"Is it too sad? Maybe we should change the channel?" Sophie asks.

At this Emma looks at Sophie determined, "No, I want to find out if he does."

"Alright then let's find out together," I say "May I join you?"

Emma nods as eagerly as her injury allows it. I sit next to her and she immediately crawls up into my lap and drags her comforter with her and tucks herself in in my arms, all there was left for me to do was to wrap my arms around my tiny precious bundle. I lean backwards and put my feet up and she mimics my movements, stretching her legs out on top of mine and leaning back, her head on my chest. It was a cocoon of warmth and it was lovely.

In the movie the little mouse is about to go to sleep in a water tower when he ventures outside to look at the stars, and he sings the sweetest most hopeful song I could just cry.

_Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight  
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight_

_Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer  
That we'll find another in that big somewhere out there_

_And even though I know how very far apart we are  
It helps to think we might be wishing on that same bright star_

_And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby  
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky_

_Somewhere out there if love can see us through  
Then we'll be together somewhere out there  
Out where dreams come true…_

I don't know exactly what happened but a sob tore through me, startling everyone around me. I tried reining it in but to no avail. Damn it! I thought I'd gotten this out of my system last night. I really didn't want anyone to see me like this.

I place a hand over my mouth trying to make the noises stop but the tears kept falling. Sophie was looking at me with concern and I just shook my head at her to tell her it was fine, and by fine I meant 'don't say anything and I should be able to pull myself together'.

I was scared that I'd scared Emma but she didn't even look at me, she instead curled up into a foetal position on my torso, placing her ear over my heart and reaching up with her hand to stroke my cheek.

And with a tiny voice she said, "Papa is lost and I couldn't help find him. I'm sorry."

'What?' I think swallowing hard and taking a deep steadying breath before uttering the question out loud.

"What do you mean?" I run my fingers though her soft curls while I wonder what she's hesitant to tell me.

"The… the man…" she starts with a shuddering voice before a whimper cute her off.

"Shhh baby it's okay, you're safe her with me now, you can tell me. It helps if you talk about it I promise." I tell her and give her a kiss on her head.

She keeps her eyes on the TV and for a second I think she doesn't want to say any anything else, I take the moment to wipe away my tears.

"He said he could teach me magic so I followed him…" she says before cutting it short, she sounds ashamed of herself and it's strikes me like a needle in my heart and I started to feel guilty for having told Emma stories from our life before. Stories about enchanted trees and fairies and fairy dust… magic… and then it hits me hard. I let out a small gasp and pull her up closer to me, rocking her side to side.

"You only wanted to help sweetheart, don't feel bad. You did nothing wrong." I say indisputably while rubbing her back. She ducks her head further down and says "It was stupid, I was stupid" before she lets out a quiet sniffle.

"No no. Look at me" she didn't move so I gently turned her around and carefully lifted her chin enough for her eyes to meet mine. "What you did was out of love and care for your family. What you did was very brave don't you dare think otherwise okay?!" I tell her with sheer conviction. Her eyes were glistening but she smiled.

"You are the bravest little girl in all the realms and I don't know anyone who's stronger than you."

"Really?" she asks hesitantly.

"Yes! It amazes me every day honey and let me tell you, you must take after your father because I'm nowhere near as brave as you." At this she smiles real big and I can see some light returning into her eyes.

"But you _are_ very brave mama, you saved me."

Emma didn't lose her smile but mine faltered ever so slightly as my mind flashed memories of last night before my eyes. I really didn't feel brave at all I think, but I recover my smile and add "well then imagine how brave you are then, having such brave parents."

Emma looked so happy that you would be fooled to think yesterday didn't actually happen, it must have weighed on her heavily. Thinking she'd acted shamefully and putting blame on herself for what happened even though she only did it to somehow help find her father.

Sophie had been quiet but seeing the positive turn she took the opportunity to intervene.

"You should really eat your ice cream before it all melts." She hands a spoon and a plate to Emma, who accepted it eagerly.

"Mary why don't you tell Emma about that trip we were talking about taking," Sophie says casually with a somewhat cheeky smile but I could still see her other emotions in her eyes, she'd been touched by what she'd seen and heard.

But catching on to her intents immediately I - with an equally casual voice - reply with "Oh right, I was just thinking about that and how we ought to include Emma in discussing our plan."

Emma looks up from her plate "What plan? What trip?" She moved her whole body sideways and gave me a look of pure curiosity.

There's my little girl I think as I smile at her.

"What are you talking about mama?"

"Well, Sophie and I were thinking we should all take a road trip up along the coast next summer and we could keep an eye out in case we come across something that could lead us to find your father." I don't know if I phrased that well enough, if it conveyed the right amount of hope that something like that is possible but Emma was beaming with joy.

"For real?!" she almost squeals.

"Yeah you are old enough and certainly brave enough to go on your very first adventure." I fought the urge to add a 'but remember there are no promises'. However I think she knows this deep down and I'd hate to spoil this moment of pure hope. We've given her something to look forward to and a start for her dreams to become true.

I must admit that even though The Dark One had told us it would take 28 years before the curse could be broken, I believe in my daughter's faith – another thing she undoubtedly inherited from her father – I believe in her so much it wouldn't surprise me if she found another way to break the curse after all.

* * *

Emma couldn't believe it she was going to look for her papa. She jumped up and down as much as she could before her energy ran low and her neck started to ache, which now didn't bother her half as much as it did before. She settled with excitedly burrowing underneath the covers again in her mother's arms and letting out a content sigh.

She felt her mother's arms tightening around her and it was okay now, she felt like she could see the light again. There was a plan now, and she wasn't alone to make it happen.

She'd missed some of the movie but Feivel had found a friend, a big ginger cat and he was so happy to have found a friend to help him. They were singing. It was a nice song Emma thought, it made her think of her mother and her.

"_We're a duo, a duo, a pair of lonely ones who were meant to be a two! Oh, a duo, it's true-o, wherever we go, we're going me and you!..."_

Emma yawned and grasped a chunk of her mother's dark hair, twirling it between her fingers idly. She desperately wanted to see the end of the movie but her eyes wouldn't stay open. So she nudged her mother and mumbled "tell me how it ends" as her eyelids slid shut.

Emma heard a vague "Of course my love" before she drifted off, feeling soft tender fingers combing through her hair. She loves it when she does that, it always calms her and so did the steady beating of Snow's heart.

* * *

**I somehow had a hard time wrapping this chapter up (I might actually go in and change a few details later) but I've kept you waiting long enough and I want to get this posted asap. I'm finishing this now at 6am! And I want it up before I go to sleep. So excuse any minor errors;)**

**And as always I love hearing from you, you lot are the reason this story lives – I have the best followers/readers :P**

**So Please Review! :D**


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